loop of life

Like you, I was young once.

Barely speak, barely walk…barely able to join others. Of course, join others I later did when we moved a few blocks up the street.

Geography and growth curve aligned to make a perfect storm i.e. two dozens kids share one alley (my “cinema Paradiso”… when my cousin brought his home movies out to show in public…against the wall in his backyard…the crowd increased exponentially with friends of friends…like social media network effect).

We blossomed. We learned to make friends, to make up and to trust.

All sorts of kids: half-breeds French-Vietnamese, Indian, Southerners and Northerners (post-Vietnam partition), middle-and-lower classes. Little did I know, I was thrusted into a multi-cultural environment, with French teachers at school and internationally diverse neighbors at home.

Later in life, I hesitated not for a second to join roommates from all shades and walks of life.

I learned that people were like trees i.e. grow, hybrid, wither and die…all the while change colors seasonally (part of growth).

We live in a loop, rinse and repeat…death as the next phase as we outlived our existence.

I fear not what’s coming, just as I once anticipated change in my new neighborhood. It comes second nature.

Of course there were bullies and beauties – with whom I exchanged “love letters” and tossed condensed milk cans with strings attached from one balcony to the other for landline connection.

It rained six months out of a year. So we revert to plan B.

Reading cartoons (Tin-tin), tinkling with self-made toys (kites and paper airplanes) and learned to play the guitar.

Small fingers started with D chord and associated harmony e.g. G and A7.

My parents did not push me to read, but they showed their affinity for poems and foreign languages.

In short, with new neighbors, new tongues and new skin tones, I learned to appreciate a more diverse society. A society that flows with the natural order, with various hues and colors.

Food, flowers and flood made up our beautiful world. Why not? Why rip-off the Creator? Why short-change ourselves of diversity and tapestry? (even white made for multi-colors when passing through a prism).

I wish I had more “lives” to fully exploit what’s in nature. Rome was built at the center of all the cross-roads. Perhaps we are like little “Romes”, with happenstances and “choices” called life, to have criss-crossed us throughout our lifetime, albeit unrecognized or unrealized as gifts e.g. adversity, loss, rejection, grief, hurt, pain and bitterness.

Bullies, bombs or bubbles. We cope with adversity, grow in our resilience, and flow (not be floated) in a loop. Told you, I once was just as young, naive and idealistic. Now I resign to maintenance, to sharing and to conserving…to choosing my own battle and next phase of growth and grief in all its five stages.

I am not worried a bit. See, I always am curious, and not afraid to make mistakes…and most of all, be myself albeit in an older version, unlike Explorer which MS is trying to get rid of…(See, we need to be at the Edge. It’s quicker and more agile.)

If history is any guide, I might end up “browsing” and searching for my old neighborhood. Looking at it “looks back” at me will confirm that both of us (me and the landscape) have changed and gone through many wash/rinse cycle.

This moment, the now, however, doesn’t repeat itself. Each unit of time is so simple and small yet significant, just like each of those nano dust that constitutes you and me. Friending? We are cut from the same pulp. Flamingos are for display, trees shade, rivers run, sun warmth, moon dream, and you? my friend. To have and to hold….oh well…till our next phase in the loop of life.

I once grew up without a lot of contacts and connection. Until we moved to a new block on the same street. That set me up for the loop of life….non-stop.