Denial

Every decade or so, we come across a new variation and version of the Ponzi scheme: old people – instead of being on cruise trips – end up being in court, to deliberate and persecute perpetrators, whether it’s a Christian radio host who promises of a new Kingdom or a Credit Suisse/Archegos guy (also a Christian who put all hustlers to shame – undeniably looking legit and at times, delivering high-yield (who wouldn’t want it).

Then came the collapse, and jail time. Only next time, it’s Ponzi 2.0. behind the veil of respectability again, with Evil lurking (see Steven King’s footnotes).

They will keep trying as long as there are still “sheep” out there.

So far, as I can recall, we have put the Worldcom guy (Bernie) away, then Madoff, the Penn State/Michigan defensive football and gymnastics, respectively. Then of course, the Boston, France and Baptist clergy.

Such is the nature of our collective denial. Like covid deaths (5 million – talking about denial). Or climate change disasters and deaths (someone else’s – not us). Swept under the rug, or down into the bottom of our consciousness.

The truth is: we are processing grief – whether it’s on campus or online (suicide on campus, shooting on campus etc..).

In my younger days, I proccessed grief too (my family torn apart, my nation torn to pieces. My slate got wiped clean like first New England snow). I was a walking dead – suppressed memory – on campus (working the night shift, trying to get to Communication classes during the day). Superman! (classmates from the football team slept through too).

I blocked out my immediate past, as if it hadn’t happened. What war? What country? I did not know nothing about nothing. In denial. In grief.

Then it creeps up. When the mask is down. In between “shows”. Friends did not know or did not care (all-white campus: are you from North Vietnam?). Just play the game, a role, like in a Shakespearean script.

We were “born to run” baby, Sister golden hair! “and I can’t live without you, can you see it in my eyes?”

Just write it off. No climate change (as I write this, there were thunders and lightening outside….that cut off the internet). Good riddle. No inflation, no covid?. Just a day-to-day existence, with lots of weight at the gym and illness in the head. Pain-killers please!

The problem with Ponzi scheme is – those who don’t participate fear of missing out, those “in the know” think they have it made, until… Mind you, when zooming out in an infinite long shot, we’re all in this together: a cosmic Ponzi, where time is our invention and each minute, albeit precious, fools us into believing we have it made (someone have just stolen my kid’s bike – humanity have it made? a few months back, it was her scooter. )

I am OK, you are OK.? So let’s get on with it. Chinese cheap goods. 2 degrees Celsius warmer? It’s for someone else (our offspring) to worry about.

After all, we’re not the Special Envoy to deal with huge issues in Europe. We’re day-to-day hand-to-mouth folks, in perpetual denial (oh, John John did not show up here, perhaps later tonight at the Stones concert). No wonder, from the get-go, we already put our blinders on, refusing to see Ponzi (even Pope or President) for who he is. Can’t beat him, might as well join him, preferably the sooner the better – for fear of missing out – scarcity is also relative – or before the bottom fell off.

In denial, we live only a half-dose of reality. In facing reality squarely in the eyes, we live in full, the whole enchilada – spicy, ugly and dangerously. Some like it hot!