Too late?

It depends. You can always make a U turn. As in “Boulevard” the movie starred aptly by Robin Williams (coming out). Or learning a foreign language upon retirement? A bit late (for full fluency). One sure thing: it’s never too late to start a healthier diet

https://time.com/6209652/how-to-lower-your-cholesterol-naturally/

We operate on different clocks: internal and external.

Biologically vs socially, the two clocking speeds are at odds with each other.

Time is of the essence. Do it. Fast lane fast foods.

I once experienced a painful night. So far, my longest one yet.

All because I was hesitant (Look before you leap vs, he who hesitates is lost). My values and internal speed are different than that of other people. Confucianism, Buddhism, Christianity , the 60’s Sexual Revolution (God is dead) , the 70’s Me generation, the 80’s “Greed is Good” joint forces to produce a synthetic and syncretistic me. If I were to live in VN, perhaps Cao Dai-ism would suit me best.

I have a hard time knowing what switch to turn on given a new stimulus. Perhaps anticipation trumps satisfaction? Aren’t we all! At least, we can agree on a set of core values: protecting our young, respecting our elders, and not consuming more than we need etc.

Yet with social media and its speed and scope, we feel our (inner) selves chipped away one post at a time, like an invisible Michael Angelo hand on the marble, to reveal our hidden selves (meanwhile, our outer layer looks better- due to global supply chain that brings about materialistic abundance).

Voila. Two facedness (not online/offline persona). But within ourselves. Wanting to do good. Yet feeling so isolated. Slated to be a sucker? After all, the Me generation urges us to be free, to go out and get some, to become what we are meant to be. Never too late (to join the Army – to be all you can be?). Only when she’s already been taken (in my case, taken away in a taxi while drunk – date snatching) that it’s too late.

“Come back to me and we will be happy forever” (Boulevard, the song).

I often wonder how many lifetimes needed for suffering and joy be evened out.

Or, if this life was it, with no rehearsal, then it’s never ever too late.

Yet, in mandarin tradition I was taught: respectful always. Unless and until. By forced circumstances. Out of self-defense and preservation.

In freedom, there is free fall. It is fearful indeed. To live one’s life as meant to be is dreadful. No wonder we never stop searching out there for that heart of gold and we’re getting old (per Neil Young). Or “Be the change you’d like to see” per Obama’s campaign. Meanwhile, from Redwood to Hollywood, filmmakers will be glad to drum up more story lines for us to dream on. Of what might have, could have, should have been. All the while change should have occurred within.

Baby now, it’s too late (Carole King). How many lifetimes is enough? One. Provided we accept that which we cannot change. A lot of it we can’t. But once we are wise-up, we change course and act swiftly. Before it’s too late to make that U turn. One retired doctor went back to be a life-guard. Others collect Cuban-cruising cars. All the powers to you’ll. Our protagonist made an U-turn (in Boulevard) to re-claim an alternate life-style he had always meant to be. All the powers and happiness to him as well.

Boulevard.