Thang Nguyen 555

Cultures on Collision Course

recent posts

about

With some short-term relief work in Asia/Africa and long stint in Telecom, Thang also earned a B.A. at Pennsylvania State University. M.A. in Communication at Wheaton Graduate School, M.A. in Cross-Cultural Communication at Gordon-Conwell Seminary, Boston. In addition, he earned a CELTA – classes taken in Hanoi for cultural re-immersion.

  • Love as motivator

    Fear, fun, money, dream, passion, human spirits are all strong motivators.

    This series cannot end without the mentioning of love.

    I came across a newspaper clip which showed two skeletons (male and female),

    still clinging to each other. Apparently they died in an earthquake.

    At least the saying “live together, die alone” doesn’t apply here.

    Talking about dying. We just got news that Pham Duy, one of our great song composers, has just died. He was 92. His son, also a singer, had died a month before.

    Live together, die alone.

    Among Pham Duy’s thousand songs is Dua Em Tim Dong Hoa Vang.

    I will be your guide to a yellow-flower cave.

    Love. Where do I begin, to tell the story….

    We talk a lot about rights not romance.

    It’s not a passable legislative piece.

    You come across as “soft”, not clear-headed.

    Yet when in love, if in love, we get up earlier, stay up later.

    We feel this surge of energy and possibilities.

    In fact, when in love, eternity and the temporal intersect.

    Motivating? Yes, indeed.

    Embedded in love is self-sacrifice, the need to give up one’s self.

    Love of the commons, love of neighbors among whom we find that particular person we can click and connect with.

    We all know by now which activity we tend to lose our sense of time.

    That’s what we love to do.

    And a certain person we can’t wait to see.

    (not like Meeting-with-Jesus , your sales manager).

    Bonnie and Clyde got struck down by a hail of bullets (I saw the car but did not count the holes). They might be outlaws, but perhaps there was love between them.

    I grew up hearing about the tale of Hon Buom Mo Tien (they could not marry each other in life, so they turned butterflies forever flirting and flying).

    And Ngu Lang Chuc Nu (somehow, the offending God separated them except for an annual reunion).

    Then right after the Fall of Vietnam, I have a cousin (female) whose husband MIA. 35 years later, she still was unsure whether to put his picture on the altar. Rumor had it that he had been sighted leading a convoy of refugees fleeing the war zone, and perhaps had been struck down (a documentary showing someone like him standing up next to his jeep driver).

    Love. It’s elusive. It’s not supposed to last forever. But motivating indeed.

    And in its absence, we feel even stronger. Lobo was singing “I love you too much to ever be your friend..so let the story kind an end”.

    Love is more motivating than Like.

    That’s why we got the second interview. We want to confirm those first impressions.

    We want to “fall in love” with the candidate.

    In “Blink”, Gladwell talks about the “first time, I ever saw your face”.

    We are wired to decode and detect likability and loveliness.

    And there is no better team than a team who love to work on projects with one another. High fives, the long hours and “let’s see where you got it wrong” tete-a-tete.

    I hope for Washington the return of love for public services. For the pride and purpose of the Republic, indivisible (let the two become one).

    I saw a quote on Facebook, when in love, even in the face of 99 bad things, we still look for that one thing to love. If God had been like men, we would have all been dead in hell. Alone. With no one to cling to. And archeologists of the future would stumble upon grave after grave, lone graves. Not worth noticing. They might label that society as lone-wolf, dod-eat-dog civilization.

    Pham Duy, RIP. May you find that cave full of yellow flowers, with lovers (and butterflies) still clinging to each other in life and death beyond.

  • Human spirit as Motivator

    Papillon is a real-life recount of  an undefeated spirit. Viktor Frankl talks about “they can take my body but not the spirit that is in me”.

    In war, down the trenches, with bullets zipping by, what causes a man to stay put?

    No greater love than a man who lays down his life for a friend. Comradeship.

    Mike Murphy, a SEAL, a Penn Stater, went out in the clear for better wireless signals, knowingly sacrificed his life to save his troop.

    Human spirits.

    Higher purpose.

    Maslow perhaps touched on this by naming it “self-actualization“.

    In War and Peace, we read about the Russian army defended Motherland after Napoleon had burned down Moscow.

    Wounded bodies, but not spirits.

    United Flight 93 passengers decided in split seconds to go down in style.

    In 300, the movie, their leader retorts that (when aides brought up bad news that the enemies’ arrows would rain down and cover the sky) “good, we will fight in the shade then”.

    Human spirits.

    Each man’s history tends to condense in those few decisive turns.

    Shun not the confluence of events.

    In crisis, show confidence and judgement. When it’s 50-50 split, throw in the human spirit. The tie-breaker.

    The quant could never factor this quality on their spread sheets.

    They aren’t trained to identify much less put a dollar value on it.

    But since time began, we know it exists. One more (aerobic) step, one more cold call (Colonel Sanders), one more pregnancy unaborted.

    The Vietnamese eat from a common rice pot. There is always one extra bowl and a pair of chopsticks just in case.

    I was at RockStorm last night (stadium concert). The other numbers were OK.

    But when Noi Vong Tay Lon (Let’s join hands) was up, I heard a loud chorus “the wild is calling us to rejoin disparaged shores”. Old wine in new skins. The spirit of unity expressed in new genre (rock was first associated with individuality and independence).

    In Hotel California, we hear that “we haven’t had that spirit since 1969”.

    Human spirit.

    Tell me it did not exist, too intangible, hard to pin down.

    I will tell you history is made of exactly that, whether or not historians could pin it down. That which is unseen is stronger than that which is seen.

  • Personality as motivator

    Besides fun, fear and need for recognition, each of us is motivated by an unique set of triggers.

    Some are expressive e.g. talk it out to then realize what they think.

    Analytical people, however, weigh the pros and cons before opening their mouths.

    Amiable people just empathize, feely-touchy and are good listeners

    Social folks love to smok’em at barbecue parties: the more the merrier.

    Finally, the quickest of all are the Alpha-Male types: shoot first aim later.

    Most managers have been managed by other managers, who in turn, pass down the command-control model.

    Just Do It!

    And they are right half of the time.

    When workers left their company, nobody bothered to do a post-mortem.

    It’s like a death in the family. To be politically correct, nobody should mention the “others” who are no longer “us”.

    Write if off on the left column, as burnt rate, from attrition.

    Even in warfare, military historians take years of reflection and review to extract “lessons learned”.

    Companies cannot afford this. Just hire new staff. Invest in new head counts.

    The (vicious) cycle starts again. One motivational model imposed on various types off workers.

    My way or highway.

    The best middle manager is the one who can negotiate and walk the fine line between corporate interests and line workers/market expectations, between Wall Street and Main Street.

    The best leaders are ones who can detect conflicting signals sent up and down the chain. Without the people carrying out strategies and tactics, things don’t move. But to move so fast in the wrong direction is much worse. (see Matterhorn or My Lai Massacre).

    It boils down to attitude, aim and action. Recent article in the NYT shows that people who adjust their course mid-stream (after examining underlining assumptions)  can pivot to success. It’s not difficult to apply the right mix of motivators. But first, one needs to be self-motivated and undergo self-examination (ego? pride? face-saving?).

    And this process is hard. Look yourself in the mirror, know all the weaknesses  and seek redemption. That’s when things start to turn. There is no coach that will yell at you. Just an empty locker room at half-time. Helmets off. Sweat and tears. The score board doesn’t lie. We are all behind, to face imminent loss. And worst of, loss of self-confidence. Seek the right mix of motivators for your team, yourself and your families. Tough-love yourself.

  • Recognition as motivator

    Ceremony has its place in every culture.

    It’s an occasion for recognizing distinctive people or acts of valor.

    As opposed to guilt and shame, praise and recognition validate achievement.

    Maslow ranks this need right above survival and security need. Self-esteem.

    Martial Arts and Military subscribe to ranking and recognition more than often:

    black belt and red belt, purple heart and silver star.

    As of this writing, the Pentagon has just lifted the ban on women in combat.

    Half of the population has just been recognized.

    Long way from those bras-burning days.

    Students got special stickers from teachers; workers special parking.

    Sales folks are paid by performance, but non-sales counterparts should also be recognized for their contribution (1001 ways to reward your employees).

    Knowledge workers volunteer their best minds, software coders give up their sleep.

    Best way to recognize go-beyond-the-call-of-duty is to point it out publicly.

    Applause does wonder to the soul, brings tears to actors at Golden Globe Awards.

    There is nothing staged when being recognized. Instant elation.

    It touches us. We are more than a profile. We are proud people.

    We rise above ourselves and our circumstances. We enlist and enlarge qualities long laid dormant: heroism, sacrifice and quick reflexes.

    Those soft skills and abilities are not activated until circumstances call them out (United flight 93 over Pennsylvania on 9/11, for instance).

    Kids should be exposed to many worlds: Sahara, Salvador and Saks Fifth. And not just Saks Fifth. We will never know how we act when in want. But people do survive the worst of times, selflessly and secretly. Mother Theresa identified with the poorest of the poor. In losing herself, she ended up being recognized. Survivors of the Holocaust still have tales to tell.

    Recognition, while a reward for excellence, is also a motivator, from the standpoint of management. Recognize your employee of the month, but spot and validate their initiatives every day (positive reinforcement). People and company, military or martial arts, all need to build up ranking and recognition into their reward system.

    Praises go a long way, while put down is counter-productive.

  • Fun as motivator

    Cyndi Lauper and Sheryl Crow both touched on “wanna-have-fun” theme.

    (Girls just want to have fun, All I wanna do).

    The upcoming Olympic in Brazil should be a fun place (certainly more than polluted Beijing).

    Fun ranks up there as one of the highest motivators.

    It’s wired in our fabrics.

    Pure fun. Wholesome fun. Grand ball. Sight, sound and scenes.

    Smoke machines, sound machines and special effects.

    Googlers are seen each year in the Mojave Desert (Burning-Man Festival).

    CES in Las Vegas kicks off each year in January.

    Kids open their electronic toys Christmas morning. Fun, fun, fun.

    “I got this feeling that I am not the only one… .”

    Men are fated to toil the ground and tame the beasts.

    But after hard times comes harvest times.

    In a Korean’s novel (Please Look After Mom) we find a landscape utterly foreign yet familiar. Agrarian culture, with everything done by hand, in transition to a bustling Seoul subway where an aged senile country mom got lost.

    Yet, even in this bleakest of portraits, we still find some romance, and occasional laughters.

    Fun.

    I often found people chuckled in the midst of drinking.

    Apparently, there were fun injected into the blood stream besides alcohol.

    My friend’s favorite has been Seasons in the Sun. “We had joy we had fun”.

    Fun doesn’t belong to but is often associated with youth.

    Everyone can and should have some fun. Even at work.

    Wait not for Halloween or Valentine.

    At Zappos, they set up desks deliberately in the hallway, so co-workers are forced to “bump” into each other. Gone are the cubicles. The wall came tumbling down.

    Now, just collaboration, not competition.

    Southwest Airlines associates wear shorts and shirts, sing FAA regulations in a way that draws out a smile in each passenger. Fun culture retains great talent.

    It adds healthy numbers to the bottom line.

    Know the motivators like the back of your hands.

    Work them into your HR policy. Practice them at the front line and in the back room.

    Then people wouldn’t need to wait for Happy Friday or Happy Hour.

    They are happy at work. It boosts up morale and team spirit.

    I love to work with workers who are not grumpy. Unless it’s at Disney Animation.

  • Fear as Motivator

    As a child I feared rising flood water (drowning).

    I feared thief by night, bully by day.

    I feared having to stand out in the crowd (wearing bright colors).

    For a nail that sticks up will be hammered down.

    Fear of being drafted, of being called out in class to recite something in English.

    Fear of being compared to other high achievers (relatives or peers).

    Vietnamese childhood has been a dread.

    Peer and parental pressures would make “Tiger Mom” in America paper Tiger.

    French teachers would check my finger nails every day, and neighbors would stare if I put on a new shirt. Later, in seminary and seminars at corporate level, people would ensure conformity (rep ties, Oxford blue .. the Brook Brothers look). Sales trainers role-played down to a firm handshake and advised our teeth-cleaning every three months.

    All that, until the pink slip came.

    Then I don’t put much weight behind those fear of the unknown. Some people whose life was totally invested in those codes, couldn’t take it e.g. retirees from the CIA were known to die within a few years off-service.

    The old Command-and-Control system works well within the confine of those groups (cultic and militaristic).

    But our new world, our multi-polar world, is looking for a different kind of leaders or even leaderless organization.

    The best thing can happen to a worker is being fired. Then he/she can begin a new narrative and journey.

    The mother of all fears is fear of death. Work back from there, and you will be amazed.

    In my end, my beginning.

    Like it or not, we are armed with an instinct to survive (camouflage, conformity and compromise). We know when to hold, when to fold.

    The cavemen reflexes are built-in.

    Cavemen or corporate men.

    IBM Red-white-and-blue or hairy beardy 60’s. We carry our fears around.

    Just use it, as a motivator.

    A little more risk here, a toning down there. We will find the ideal mix between self-destruction and self-preservation.

    Those who venture nothing gain nothing.

    Those who risk it all, got nothing left to show.

    But progress demands self-disruption and self-examination.

    History is made by those who both advanced and retreated.

    The fear business, like the vice business, take up a lot of GNP.

    9/11 took that up a few notches: scanning machines and profiling algorithms.

    With all the security apparatus in place, we still fear (no large shampoo in carry on).

    Fear paralyzes, fun liberates.

    Animals spring out to appear larger than they are (to self-preserve).

    Butterflies also flap their wings to gain wind leverage and to avoid capture.

    Use that which we are endowed with.

    Fear motivates but dull not our senses because of fear.

    The odd that something bad happens twice at the same place and circumstances is nil. Use our heads. People who got Purple Heart are testimonies to valor and courage, in the face of fear. I still fear of flood, of bullies and of corporal punishment. But they fear me too, if I turned off mine.

    Use it.

  • Money as Motivator

    Money does something to us. It both elevates and debases us.

    In War and Peace,  Pierre, as opposed to Prince Andrew, inherited a vast estate. Then things went south: duel, divorce and determination to “sanctify” himself by joining the Free Masonry Society.

    When money is involved, motivators are involved, not all pure and noble.

    We are shy to talk about it.

    Great men and lowly men, are distracted and distraught by it.

    Gone are the days of Bread’s Everything I Own (I would give everything I own, just to have you back again).

    We live out Victor Hugo‘s script (Les Miserables as 99 percenters):

    homeless and jobless drain on the system, interest rates eating up social security reserves.

    Money man over Guitar man.

    Pragmatic over Romantic.

    Money rules and changes the rules.

    Hire those who are hungry. They will stay with you, sing your praise and watch your back. (the lack of money) keeps them humble and loyal.

    The poor gives us an opportunity to be God-like.

    A tang of guilt is good for the noble soul.

    When you do this to the least of these….

    Not GM, nor IBM. The least of these.

    Money is inherently a motivator, but not the motivator.

    (this is a multi-part series on Motivator e.g. music, passion etc…)

    If Money is the only thing, we should all be bankers and be bailed out.

    If Money is the only thing, then what happened before Money? (Read The Ascent of Money).

    I have run into people who genuinely believe Money is Miracle, not just Motivator.

    When they seek Money as an End in itself, they instinctively know they cannot take it with them in death.

    Here in Vietnam, at funeral and wedding, money is involved. Fake money for the former, and real one for the latter (which helps pay for the banquet).

    Obviously, there are some truth to it: Money opens doors, even the gate of  Hades.

    Pierre settled for a quick divorce with the splitting of his estate (money).

    People marry in the name of love, and divorce in the name of money.

    The practice of dowry and divvying up from a will show the importance of money.

    Money talks.

    If I had been told Capitalism means money and money, I would have understood the concept and philosophy immediately. Instead, I was given a run-around. Sold on a dream and not drawn from a bank account. Apparently, they also instinctively know that in hiring and selling, you must first lay out all the intangible values, then slap them last with the bottom line. By then, all the other motivators (safety, status etc..) have been weighed in to spin the and price justify.

    Apparently even the money handlers know deep down, money is only a motivator, albeit an important one. In all seriousness, people in Vietnam and China burn artificial 100-dollar bills, fake I-pads and I-phones for dead ancestors to use. It’s a small price to carry out filial duty.

  • Passion as motivator

    With passion, one can even work without pay. At least for a while. Blessed are those who can

    translate passion into profit.

    Novelists, musicians and movie-makers.

    But those of us who do not belong in that club can still tap into the well of creativity.

    Create products that your kids want to use (to take their own pictures for instance).

    Come up with a recipe that on rainy days, you yourself would want to eat it.

    I just finished the 3-part 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami where he created a fictional year of two moons. His passion is in creating a surreal universe, once entered, you can’t get out (unless you can trace back the emergency exit where you originally let yourself  in).

    Someone else’s passion tends to evoke our own. There are 7 Billion readers and music lovers out there.

    Will you be the one who decodes them!

    It might sound far-fetched. But your passion will help you start your own “religion”.

    You know what you love.

    What keeps you work for free. To stay awake with or without coffee.

    If you can’t find it, at least, find those directions which your family has tried to talk you out of. They might not know the right direction to steer you into, but they tend to know what to talk you out of. That’s where you need to pursue. Leverage the rebellious instinct.  Surprise the nay sayers. The best “revenge” is success. To get success, you need to uncover your passion and use it.

  • Music as Motivator

    Old Time Rock and Roll, Get Ready, I Just Want to Celebrate etc.. will “soothe your soul”.

    Take time out to massage the affective part of yourself.

    Ancient culture or atomized culture, we all need to gather around the “fire”, to warm up, to celebrate and to belong.

    Music as equalizer, as motivator. A call to march forward.

    At Inauguration, Presidents hold concerts, to celebrate. Good for the top brass, good for us commoners.

    In college, students played in marching band (at Penn State, they travel a lot and play a lot at home games). Even at corporate events , we hear music which can really kick start an evening.

    Work hard and play hard culture.

    Fun, fast and flavourful.

    Something about those beats that awake and arouse ancient genes.

    We are meant to live in herd and hunt in packs.

    No way around it but marching to the same drum beat.

    (Incidentally, I found financial guys have the most fun at parties, even though it’s them who will process those payments a few weeks later).

    Of course we need rah-rah sessions.

    We need to be recognized, to be motivated. It’s not for the winners. It is to draw out the best from the laggers.

    A few days ago, Thomas Friedman had a piece about the cultural differences between Washington and Silicon Valley. His central theme was Collaboration.

    And how different the concept was perceived and processed in those two places.

    I would add creativity and imagination to the mix.

    What could be a better source to inspire and jump-start “out of the box” thinking than to turn on those good old-time Rock and Roll, theme songs and marching tunes of the Valley. I have run into a bunch of old acquaintances. The secret sauce has always been music.

    Of course, exercise and diet are top of the list. But musicians tend to maintain that care-free, let’s-see-what-happens attitude. It keeps them young and fit. It keeps them upbeat (notice the positive term). At the very least, it draws out the inner child that refuses to grow up in this pain-filled world.

    When in doubt, in stress, in trouble, just know You’ve Got A Friend.