The ME who could’ve been

It’s Chinese New Year morning. Except there weren’t a lot of Vietnamese around.

They were here yesterday, and last week. But apparently, on this cold Sunday morning,

gym wasn’t their priority. Attention is devoted to festivals and festivities at the Temples, in the park and at the fair.

Like in-country counterparts, they would put on new clothes and carry li-xi envelopes ready to be dispensed, like an eager college freshman with stacks of condom supplies.

Here in Orange County, the festivities have only just begun. Bands were busy rehearsing, and bottles pre-ordered (up scale wine and dine).

I thought to myself, what a wonderful world.

Had I stayed my entire time in Vietnam, what the Me would have turned out?

– I wouldn’t show up at the gym on the first day of Tet either (none would be opened) and

would still fight the hang over from the New Year Eve’s celebration.

– I would drink strong cafe sua da (iced latte), perhaps from the only Starbucks in town.

– Sometimes people go the movies during Tet (since there aren’t a lot of entertainment venues that could accommodate an entire extended family). This year, Die Hard is opened on New Year’s Day in Vietnam.

Ten days before, they showed “My Nhan Ke” (femme fatale), complete with sword fighting and Crouching -Tiger Matrix-like effects.

– I would stay home early in the morning, for fear of being the first visitor to friends’ houses. Who would want to be blamed for the bad outcome of their entire year!.

Banh Chung (green-bean cakes) and pickled onion would be my brunch, since restaurant workers also stay home to celebrate their own Tet.

Then comes the dreaded part: the unwanted relatives.

They would want to reorder my life’s priorities by matchmaking attempts.

I would burn incenses for my deceased parents, offering fruits and flowers along with Banh Chung and confitures.

Tet in Vietnam or in the US is the same.

But the man I used to be (the Me in relation to others e.g. uncle, brother-in-law, etc…) has changed.

I work out, I read, I blog and frankly, I have become atomized and adapting to both virtual and western world.

My motto is to observe, filter and retain only necessary data (handling spam mail) for survival.

I want to connect the dots or else others would do it for me.

Instead of being the mini-we in We, I have become the Me on my own, with legs to stand on.

It’s like the spirits of the Dust Bowl. Rebuilding after the gathering storm, all on one’s own.

We are evolving into new creatures of the Web, where Who We Are is influenced by what we view, like and whom we share it with.

It won’t happen overnight, but it is evolving. The same way our taste for music and fashion by osmosis once shaped by our next up of kin (or closest friends).

Or else, how would we explain an entire generation falling in love with American Pie, Vincent, Say You Say me.

My friend mentioned Lionel Richie‘s line “easy as Sunday Morning”.

So it’s Sunday Morning. The Vietnamese who would otherwise show up at the gym, have taken it easy “like Sunday Morning”.

It’s new year. It’s a celebration. Time for feasting and eating. To broker marriages and business relations.

Even to forgive trespasses both from the religious (Sunday)  and cultural (Tet) stand point. Let us not fall into temptation. I am sure after these three days, (with gambling and drinking involved) many would find above prayer more meaningful if not personable. The Me who could’ve been should have taken it easy like Sunday morning.

Instead, I end up going to the gym all these three days and only take small bites of the bean cake. It’s brand simple, but a winning entry for our national contest for the throne. Back when the general consensus was that the Earth was square. And that it’s not good for a man to be alone on this very day. He has to be a mini-we in the context of a larger batch that hatched into a tribe called Lac Viet, ancestors of today’s Vietnamese. No wonder those “Individualized” stairmasters remain unoccupied on this New Year’s morning: everybody is reclaiming what’s they once were.

Past lives

Alpha-Omega or reincarnation?

Steve Jobs didn’t believe all those talents would disappear in a flash.

Many here in Asia believe the same.

Hypnotism brings back deep-seated memories in the brain, recalling multiple past lives .

Duyen No.

L’amour and Debt.

No coincidence.

Just virtuous or vicious cycle.

Spin it baby.

Make your choices. Think you are in control?

I know I have my parents’ gene pool.

My kids are partly mine and their moms’.

So on so forth.

Today Vietnam celebrates its Founding King.

Thoughtfulness and simplicity. Banh day Banh chung.

Round and Square, rice and beans, the Earth and the Moon.

Harmony. Peace. And Stability.

Being a small country, Vietnam has to fend of invaders with whatever comes handy.

Giac den nha dan ba phai danh (when attacked, women take up arms).

Then peace time. Farewell to arms. Welcome L’Oreal, Louis Vuitton and Lauren.

Just don’t assume. Behind the make-ups lies strength and subtlety.

Hai Ba Trung. Ba Trieu.

Don’t mess with them.

Just smile, sweat and sorrow.

Fight on. Firm up your footing.

Turf and territorial protection.

This land is our land.

Shinning seas and dusty hills.

Fight on.

Then come home to simplicity, sweat and smile.

Alpha-Omega? No.

Next lives. Non-stop. Live on. Pay forward and pay backward.

Waste not your time. But then, time is always on your side. At least, here, in Vietnam.

For thousand of years people celebrate simplicity, harmony and subtlety. Gio To. Gio Cha. Gio Chong.

The self is not celebrated. It’s communal. It’s trans-generational. It’s eternal and cyclical. Forever bound in an unbroken chain of melody and harmony. Sounds like a chant, sounds like music. Sounds like Holiday. Sounds playful. Zen-ful.

Unbundled incense

In his year-end Opinion, David Brooks of the NYTimes recited a story about people in Louisiana who had lighted a candle for neighbor’s graves.

This year-end here in Vietnam, I saw just that and more…incense, flowers and fruit.

People are either already home or on the way. They cook, clean and cater to many needs, among them, lighting neighbor’s graves.

A girl still in helmet, with parked scooter by her side, spent a silent moment praying, Then she would visit nearby lots, perhaps people she used to know from her village church.

In life and in death. You are not forgotten. A form of social immortality.

I read about a sinking commercial cruise, with captain and his crew escaped first to safety.

Would you want to ever step on one of those “luxury” cruises?

Living in style, dying solo.

I tried to nap today when neighbor knocked on my door to see if I were OK

(perhaps he was “xin” – beer + heat exhaustion). Then the Lion dance team went around the entire block reminding us this is their year, the year of the Dragon.

Flower Festival proudly displays mighty Dragon in all shapes and sizes, Vietnam’s version of Rose Parade.

Young girls pose for photo-ops, maybe later seen on Facebook or scrap-book.

The Earth seems to rumble.

People chat up with “natives”, knowing that whoever is left in Saigon, is from there (as opposed to workers, students and relatives who have gone home to their respective villages in the countryside).

City folks or country folks, everyone is gearing up to give and receive.

The gift baskets, the flower bouquets and the sticky “banh chung” (rice cake) have been delivered. Water melon (whose inside is red, signifying good luck), blossomed Hoa Mai and kumquat trees are on firesales.

Vietnamese talk about “khong khi Tet” – the taste, texture and ambience of Tet.

A sense of utter confidence that Heaven and Earth are in alignment and agreement to bless the pure of heart.

I can’t find no further evidence than someone who stood silently at an isolated grave, then lighted up incense for neighbor’s graves. Candles or incense, US or VN, we all long to live the rest of our lives the best way we know how and periodically to celebrate it the best way we can. Here, this way, is  familiar to most, but somehow, vaguely strange to me. I, however, found one constant: ABBA‘s Happy New Year played over and over to welcome the  Year of the Dragon. Tung Cheng! Tung Cheng! Tung Cheng!