Tag: Coffeemaker

Machine of the year

We put a five-dollar bill in, and got a quarter back. Green. Go. No toll booth collector.

Just a machine. Just like you would find at laundromat, or car wash.

Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy. Its video rental machines don’t seem to catch up with Red Box and Netflix. Netflix doesn’t seem to catch up with Hulu. Hulu won’t catch up with Google TV.

Soon we will need to vote, not for Man of the Year as TIME has, but for Machine of the Year.

This machine has to pass the most stringent of tests i.e. most conveniently placed (such as ATM machines in the casino), take dollar bills on user’s first trial, and always spit out mint coins.

I prefer to vote for machine that says “Thank You”.

After all, I have a choice to walk away, and not to give it any business.

Besides, there are competing machines nearby.

To enter the “labor” workforce, machines should pay FICA.

In case you haven’t noticed, we can go through a day without interacting with human

(see my other blog on Machine and Me) just as someone’ s comment that one can walk through Little Saigon in Westminster, CA for a full day without a word in English.

I have nothing against the machine. Only when it refuses to take my crumbled dollar bills.

Machines at the Home Depot are more advanced. Wal-Mart’s also.

I don’t know about the ones at airport from which one can buy Tampon, I pod and perfume.

Coca Cola is beta-ing a coke mixing machine, from which you can select your coke flavor.

Hence, it seeks to turn consumers into chemists.

Ice cream making machines at rest areas championed this trend a while ago.

When America gets on the road, it will have to live with coffee machine, ice cream machine, coke machine, toll collecting machine, gas station cash machine, microwave oven, fridge, TV, desktop, stereo, A/C, heater, hot-water dispenser, dishwasher etc.. That is why I propose TIME magazine to start changing its annual issue, from Man of the Year, to Machine of the Year. Vote for one which learns how to say Thanks.  Air stewardess don’t even bother to perform “human function” i.e. expressing gratitude to customers who foot the bills. It’s the Captain and pre-scripted Thanks which we hear nowadays.

Machine and Me

Sir Chaplin showed it best in “Modern Times”.

Jacques Ellul took a step further to analyze all things “technique”. The 70’s OPEC oil embargo triggered  cost-cutting craze, starting with the elimination of gas station full-service to Smart cars and EVs.

I took a trip this past Thanksgiving. At rest area, the vending machine took my money and spit out my choice 1A6 (translation: dark coffee with cream, no sugar). With SunPass I did not have to stop and pay at the toll booth.

Of course, at rest area, the air dryer helped dry my hands. At the outlet mall, I had a massage by a chair

(only after I fed the machine my 5-dollar bill.)

I picked up something at Home Depot whose self-checkout allows me to scan my merchandise (while the cashier played loss prevention). On Halloween, they even put up a mean looking monster to stare down at home-builders.

When I got home, tired from the trip, I rented a video at Red Box. And while at it, I might as well filled my water at the machine next to the  prepaid calling card and blood-pressure machines.

I could have taken some pictures in one of those kiosks. But I saved money by using my digital camera, and print out Thanksgiving pictures ( no longer a trip to the Kodak store).

Pretty soon, they will have machine that can give you a flu shot. I already got my stamps from the post office machine.

Coffee, gas, photo, DVD , pre-paid calling card, stamps, water, highway toll, photo , car wash, water, air pump, laundry, kitchen appliances, I-pod, shaving kit. Car alarm (You stand too close to the vehicle, step back), GPS, remote control, alarm clock, unmanned aircraft, Stair Master, and IRobot to clean your house.  I am too tired to clean house, so I drop my clothes in the wash, pop in the DVD, and set my alarm. That was after I managed to check my email on the computer and warm my food in the microwave.

No wonder we don’t need people. Where have they all gone, long time passing? No wonder in Buffalo, NY, the last of the station attendants startled me when he asked if I needed to fill up. I thought that was a panhandler trying to hustle me.

The Machine Age is here. And someday, machine will make more advanced machines as they interact and evolve. Did I mention the ATM’s? My bank closes at 4PM, sending me to the machine today. I can hardly get face-time with any teller. Cherish the chat, “organic relationship” (this makes off-shored call centers heavens on Earth: “I understand what you mean” really?) . When we have a face-to-face with someone, we can read  non-verbal cues: facial expression, body language.  Tommy was left playing the pinball machine, and he moaned “See me, feel me, touch me, heal me”. Machine will stay behind in Goodwill long after we are gone. It’s those human who are close to us (and even not so close ) that matter. Family, and larger human family (social networking?), united against the machine – Trust not that which doesn’t brush its teeth, gives you poor service, yet takes your money. Try to get a refund by kicking it.

In Michael Moore’s words, “downsizing this!”.

P.S. I kept forgetting to click the ABC icon for the machine to spell check. Can’t live with or without “it” any longer.