All to the payload

Nothing goes to waste. Neither a minute nor an experience, good or bad.

This is not pre-destination. It is how our brain stores and evolves. Millions of calculation, prediction, reflection and reinvention.

Like technology which evolves, so do we. We made a mistake. We did it again. Then we learned. Both David Brooks and Jeremy Rifkin talked about Empathic Civilization and how men have come to relate emotionally.

We (men) were taught at an early age to hunt, to conquer and move on.

e.g. the All-terrain man (NYT Magazine March 20-2013)

If we failed, shake it off with whiskey and move on.

Tough guys don’t dance, or buy-in to empathy, emotional intelligence or group therapy.

Yet studies like the Grant Study found that men do learn from mistakes and adjust in due course.

Partly because the nature of warfare has changed (from hard to software), partly because of women have moved further in the workplace (which gave birth to a bunch of stay-at-home dads).

Whatever the reasons, we do see a generation of sensitive men emerge (or titles like “The End of Men”.

Men who use I-pod, I-phone and I-pad.

Men who drive electric cars (which Tom Wolfe calls the Elf, in his latest Back-to-Blood novel). Men who could be President (Clinton) or just be big-dog supporter of our currently re-elected President.

Not much ego there. Just collaboration across the aisle and across the ocean.

We are living in interesting times: Outgoing Chinese President, and incumbent US  President.

We wouldn’t hear comments as back in Watergate days “I would run over my grandmother for the job” (Chuck Colson).

Now, it’s 2012. The world is tweeting, sharing, Liking, posting, commenting and crowdsourcing.

Utopia? Not quite.

But much better. More empathic a civilization. The late stage of evolution. Grown men do drink milk. Wear tight pants, and do yoga. Yes, I know how you feel. Nothing goes to waste. Those hours of watching and feeding the kids.

It’s well worth it. The bonding at bed-time reading. We have become role-models. For me, I hope my generational “curse” stops here. (unlike the final scene in Exorcist where the young priest, tormented so much he had to take his own life to end the never-ending downward spiral).

I hope for my girls a much better life than mine.

Nothing goes to waste. We transmit those DNA strands and a few variables of our own. It happens to be the first stage of empathic men, last stage of Alpha male.

God bless Aimy and Maily.

Listening across the cultures

Listening is hard to begin with (just ask a psychiatrist).

Listening across the cultures is doubly hard. It requires an extensive grasp of the others’ frame of reference.

As technology enables the world to shrink, more groups join the globalized market.

(The PM of Malaysia was on GPS telling Fareed that in the 60’s, Malaysia poverty rate was more than 50% – it is now under 3.5%).

Shop till you drop.

Yet, we don’t listen to what our constituents are telling us. The algorithm from Amazon seems to do a better job.

At least, it mined data of my past purchases, and recommended similar products.

Listening is hard work.

In The Empathic Civilization, the author touches on our increased capacity to empathize, as more and more studies on how the brain works are released. To listen is to engage, to comprehend and to visualize being in their shoes. In short, to empathize.

Beginners in Sales were often taught to “push” their products and to sell features and rates, all the while praying for the law of average (numbers game) to work.

Until the pipe line runs dry, and these feature salesmen hit a drought.

Who are the customers? What do they really want? What are their felt needs? How can we uncover those needs and wants, then to show that gap between need and solution which brings values. A sale is just a beginning of a life-long relationship.

I was fortunate to have worked in multi-cultural teams, serving the needs of a multi-cultural market place.

In our team, you can find Russian, Middle Eastern, Eastern European, Indian, Filippino, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Hispanic and Vietnamese. We  catered to Arminian, Cambodian, and everyone else in between.

It forced me to be culturally sensitive. What’s underneath the tip of that iceberg? What should be left unsaid? What should be uncovered?

There will always be misunderstandings across the cultures (comedians have a hard time cross-over this gap). And this makes negotiation much more challenging (we revert to the path of least resistance, and assume – with arrogance – that we know what they want).

People in general speak through their body language.

To listen across the cultures,  one needs to listen with both ears and eyes. Ask open-ended questions, and watch HOW the person across the table answer those questions.

I walked across the street in San Francisco once, with two really tall Eastern European resellers. One guy had his head shaved, the other long hair (makes me look like Chow in Wolfpack) . Then I visited another Pakistanis reseller who was always in suit and tie. And finally, I sat down sharing a meal with our Chinese agent. Food makes for good camaraderie. In each case, I morphed to “mirror” the others (be brief with Westerners, and be relational with Asians).

People want low price. Yes, but they also want a range of choices, great service and reliability (or brand).

During this recession, it seems that companies like Costco, McDonald, Nordstrom all did well because they have listened to their customers (besides consistency across all location – trust factor).

US News and World Report joined the fate of Christian Science Monitor to downsize and limit themselves to just newsstand and special issues on Hospital and University ranking.

Those are obvious examples of listening to the customers.

Yes, time is hard. It will weed out companies and consultants who did not research and respond to a diverse customer base. First seek understanding, then to be understood. The shotgun theory is out. Now is time for engagement, collaboration (across the cultures) and value creation.  If it’s too late to learn another language, at least you should try to “read” the non-verbal signals.  80% of communication is conveyed via body language (as of this edit, President of the US and China, both met “informally” near Santa Monica, without wearing a tie). Nail that, then you are ahead in this global market place. Watch YouTube where the world is trying to say something. Unless you preferred to stick with the old model T when consumers now have a choice anywhere between a Leaf and a Nano. Listening is hard because it requires you to change a hard habit in your formative years. To start, just pretend to be everyone’s psychiatrist, without the pay.

Then you might get your pay day on top of becoming a great listener who knows the what and why of the conversation across the cultures.

Soft and sizzled

Mind you, this is not a new Panda Express dish.

Just China exercises its soft power, by sending S&R responders to Haiti (Western Hemisphere, many time zones away from the Great Kingdom).

Why China?

China has explored Space, Chips, and automobiles (not to mention its recent Bullet train, which should keep the Japanese on their toes).  It hosted the Beijing Olympics and Shanghai Index has outperformed the London Exchange.

While haggling with Google, it needs to act like a Super Power that it will become by sending relief S&R team. After all, it got its own quake last year. Those who have suffered can empathize.

Unlike opportunists who would spit out ill-thought-out remarks (like Quick text messages already stored on cell phones) when the first opportunity presents itself (Pat Robertson).

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/01/14/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry6096806.shtml

We happened to live near earthquake zone (San Fernando Valley). Did this mean we made a pact with the Devil?

(He probably said “yes”, because San Fernando Valley is home to Porn Capital).

Anyhow, back to China.

The speed and ease of Mobile Giving help galvanize relief efforts more quickly.

China landed in Haiti before France, its former Colonial Boss.

Venezuela and USA both pledged help.

Are we inter-connected or what!

BTW,  ARPANET’s original conception was for communication emergency should there were a nuclear disaster. So it’s only fitting that Twitter and Facebook come out ahead in mobilizing the international community for Haiti. After all, images speak louder than words. Rifkin in his latest “the Empathic Civilization” speaks of technology which enables greater empathy, yet at the same time, consumes so much energy that there is a tension between entropy and empathy (technology vs compassion fatigue?)

As you read these lines, the earth beneath you could be shaking, anytime.

That’s how vulnerable and fragile our lives are. (It happened to me when I lived in Orange County).

So China, along with other nations, should exercise their soft powers: winning hearts and minds before seeking political and economic dominance. Mind shares before market shares.

Corporations got this. They have been present at every Bowl game, every disaster zone and county fair, building goodwill, practicing brand advocacy, which ultimately strengthen brand equity.

China has won some points today by sending men and materials to Haiti, Chinese deserved a medal for showing up.

Soft Power Express! A quick dish and good chow. Soft and sizzled.