Becoming yourself

Orhan Pamuk, Nobel Prize Winner, told a story (in the Black Book) about a writer

whose wife left him for no reason at all. Restless and sleepless (and perhaps facing writer’s block) he imagined living out his former single self ( the status he now found himself in ). After a while, the mind played trick and he got used to being single. Until one day, his wife returned to him for no particular reason at all. He again found himself in a situation precaire.  Would you once again imagine yourself  being married so you can get used to it?

I am not sure what the moral of the story is, except that we are not  content with who we are. I guess once we figured out our boundaries, our strengths and weaknesses (painful), we are on the way of becoming ourselves.

Not the kind of person our families wish us to be, nor who we thought we were.

Just is.

After millions of encounters, negotiating and coordinating, including navigating the Wild Wild West  (wow! they did that) and World Wide Web (wow! they are doing that?)  we are on the way to becoming.

With one new revelation, one turn of event, one special encounter, our lives take on a new shape and contour. Dramatic events tend to dominate and serve as bookends to our otherwise uneventful lives. But most lives are lived in “quiet desperation”.  Having said that, what looks like boring to us might be very peculiar and interesting to others (if not for people in other place and time). From future vantage point, our action and inaction during this Housing Bubble  make interesting historical studies (the same as we study the Dutch Tulip Bubble – now with hindsight, we can see it as bubble. But to them, at the time, not jumping in was akin to suicide. The same with the Chicago World Fair, and how for the first time, attendees saw electricity. They simply thought they were in Heaven).

I guess part of the fun in living is discovering. Not so much about places and people, but about how we give and take, turned on and off by a certain place or people. Then we learn about our chemistry as well as our social identity.

Orhan Pamuk moves back and forth on the East-West continuum, so he is more attuned on the subject of identity e.g. women who put on veil or unveiled in Snow, his other novel.

We too in some small way, assumed multiple identities every day. Even if we don’t want to, people still put us in a box, a number and a place in line. NEXT.

Now serving G24 at window number 9.

Please punch in your last 4 digits.

Don’t stand too close to the vehicle etc….

So many web sites, so many log on ID‘s.

Avatars and photos. Inner and outer circles.

No wonder at times, we feel neurotic.

Split identities. Being one thing online and another off-line.

And yet another when we are utterly alone, with a clock or a cross on the wall.

Who are you? Who am I? The color of my skin? The pronunciation of my name?

Or the size of my bank account? If it makes you happy, why the hell are you so sad (sings Cheryl Crow). I hope tonight I don’t have to wish I were my former self. It had its own set of problems back then. Just as now. So just live out the present self. I like it. I like my becoming self. Who else can put up with me besides myself? Wife comes and goes, for no reason at all. It’s me who has to negotiate with my restless self (and muscles) to get some sleep. In restless dream I walk alone,..

Wonderful Valentine

“And then she asks me, do I feel alright?”

Wonderful tonight.

We are all conceived out of love.

Love without reservation, or hesitation.

90% perspiration, 10% inspiration.

But we are all here, celebrating Saint Valentine and Goddess of Fertility.

Chocolate and flowers.

Kisses and hugs.

Wonderful tonight.

“I give her the car keys…I feel wonderful tonight”.

Rich and poor, gay or straight, we need the other to be complete.

The world is envious seeing lovers in the park. Public display of affection.

Unlike a scene in “When Harry met Sally“, Director Rob Reiner‘s mom utters a oneliner “I will have what she is having”.

Go out and have a wonderful night.

Remember to take a taxi (or give her your keys).

When I was young, I heard “L’Amour est blue”,

Romeo and Juliet”  love forbidden, Titanic – love interrupted.

Somehow, love, as understood in Western sense, did not arrive until our young people started to explore French romanticism

(Tu Luc Van Doan).

Previously, it was forced and arranged marriage

But love? That’s a upper-class luxury.

Vietnamese lit is plagued with broken-heartedness rather than consummated love.

Whitney Houston, who has just passed away, rode her career on that single theme, as portrayed in “the Body Guard”.

(interracial, consorting).

The stronger the opposition, the harder it is to resist.

I have just finished “the Museum of Innocence”, a true love story set in Istanbul.

The last line, “tell the audience I lived a happy life”.

And what a love story that was.

No love no music.

No music no life.

Only the mundane and mechanical men in motion

In the Bicentennial Man, Robin Williams, our tin man, asks to be terminated, since he couldn’t cry (what do you expect from a machine).

Ever since, I realize God’s gift to mankind is that he could suffer because of love unfulfilled.

The best way to destroy humanity is to take love out of the equation. No love, no sacrifice, no commitment.

Love the one you got. Got the one you love. There isn’t much time as it used to be.

Feel wonderful tonight. It’s Valentine. You got my approval.

Neither East Nor West

Orhan Pamuk must be born of “Other Colors” and in the “Snow” who later built his “Museum of Innocence“.

He got the Nobel Prize for his unique perspective and perception on being in the middle of things: Istanbul.

Pamuk invited us back to his childhood, to view changes through a child’s eyes “when we watched the film, up to the part where

Abraham loved God so much without expecting anything in return, we all cried…then when the lamb suddenly appeared out of nowhere to stand in for his only son, …we busted out in tears” (Museum of Innocence).

In Snow, his character was a journalist who investigated why veiled women went on a suicide binge.

We were invited into the inner sanctum of a mysterious culture, an exclusive club.

There, we learned that they laughed, cried, went to theatre or appeared in play.

The West can learn something and so does the East.

Pamuk truly serves as a hyphen to both worlds.

He inadvertently takes up an ambassadorial role for our new globalized world.

In our broadband world, the speed and spread of information has no longer been an issue.

But information often times don’t equate with knowledge or cross-cultural sensitivity.

Until we enter our customer’s world, with all its habits and behavior.

When Vietnam was partitioned back in 1954, 2 Million North Vietnamese migrated South in “tau ha mom” (French carriers left over from D-day). The majority of them settled near Vung Tau, Bien Hoa and Ban Co.

I was born there at the last stop. Being Northerner inside the house, and Southerner outside, I grew up aware of the subtlety of sub-cultures as they came into contact or even collision.

Later, in America, I seeked out classmates from Ghana, Singapore, Taiwan, Netherland, Argentina …to ask questions, to hear their world views.

Thirty years ago, the issues were information flow (North-South).  Now that Korea and to a certain extent, Vietnam, all got access to broadband and I-phones. The results: South-South lateral flow e.g. Korean soap programing.

Vietnamese companies, meanwhile, are trying to export themselves, from tangible products (rice, garment, cashews and coffee) to intangible products (outsourcing and software testing service.)

Those who enter and embrace customers’ world will win the day.

Those who don’t, won’t.

It took me a while to register Pamuk’s name, the same way North American did with names like “Nguyen”.

But once the lights are dimmed, and you took on the character’s role (suspension of disbelief), you became a “universal” Turk with his hopes, fears and dreams.

Pamuk’s signature is his remembrance of childhood in all its particularity and his negotiating/reconciling East-West identities.

He did not floss over the details. He paid attention to them.

Because of this, he earned our trust and established himself as an observer and author.

He made the mundane his most cherished.

Because of Pamuk, I will never look at the Turks the same way (as friends rather than foreigners).

It’s as if I got new lenses to view the world, from his point of view,  as neither East nor West; just global citizenry who struggle and savor their dreams, exterior and interior.

The problem with our material-centered world is that we focus on the outside and observable at the expense of the inner beauty.

He is no fool to lose that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. This is true from Abraham on down to today.

transitory stage

I once got a 12-hour lay over in S Korea. The airport boasts itself as ” a world best airport hub”, w/ picture of a janitor-on-duty in men’s bathroom. Every hour, there were a  procession of some sort, complete with traditional gowns and ceremonial hats. Passengers-turn-shoppers (the airport was designed as a Mall) paused and expressed curiosity, but only to resume window shopping.

A flight to Istanbul was full, not with Turks going home from S Korea, but with Koreans vacationing or visiting Turkey, their launching pad to Europe.

The Financial TImes ran a piece on how for the first time, a new release was sold more in e-version than hard cover. Paper or I-Pad?

And social networking turned intranet, turned outsourcing product for other companies to adopt social networking as an official backroom function.

Steven Hawking argues that gravity and other natural forces alone created the Universe (via Big Bang).

Babson (later Babson College) wrote a book entitled “Gravity is our greatest enemy”.

When we buy a pair of Jordan Air, we conspire that “I believe I can fly..touch the sky”.

Anti-gravity urge. Immortality urge. Anti-inertia urge.

I know one thing: I heard so much about Korean ubiquitous broadband connection. So, here I am, with Samsung notebook access for free.

Blog-in-the-air. On the ground, and everywhere.

The new Korean airport appeals more upscale than Korean American Mall in Los Angeles. Perhaps their success lies in grand design, homogeneous work units and morale -average work week of 50 hours, as compared to the French 35.

It rained slightly at noon here in S Korea and made the place seems surreal.

I read about the bomb scare in Miami airport. And hurricanes in N Carolina.

Hope my plane can land in Atlanta as planned.

There will still be another short hop before I get to sleep in my bed at home.

Unemployment figures are still bad. Made the Federal Reserves frown.

They should send us money, hence turning jobless folks into active shoppers

(by sending vouchers good only for shopping, similar to cash-4-clunkler). The Korean airport certainly did this by having it built into their architectural design. People were crowding at the tobacco and malt counters. I remember that Korean’s GDP growth, the last time I looked, was somewhere positively .01 percent. At least, in this part of the world, one can find some positive signs, besides the janitorial logo which boasts  “a world best airport hub”. I concurred, since I took a nap undisturbed (unlike chairs that were designed to deter such activity in Miami airport or others). In marketing, it’s called differentiation and late mover’s advantage. You can change marketing practices, but you cannot change the man and his habits. Much less 7 habits of ineffective people.