In a recent NYT op-ed, David Brooks summed up prevailing graduation themes: find yourself, live to the fullest, be passion-focused etc.. instead of losing yourself in solving others’ problem. Even my kid knows that time passes more quickly when you are absorbed in a task.
When you lose yourself, you end up finding it.
Before graduating, I took up an internship at an ABC affiliate in Scranton, PA. At the time, it had a huge dump for abandoned cars. Mount Pocono was not too far away. Often times, the only news in town was trash workers’ strike, which I helped cover with passion.
Then, we were sent to Harrisburg to follow a lead on a nuclear power p accident. Before I knew it, I was held up for days, learning more about broadcasting than I could ever learn in 4 years.
I never went back to Beaver Stadium to receive my diploma. But I did get my badge of life. After the experience of working for nothing, but learning everything, I went on to make three rounds of volunteer overseas to lose myself again and again (all along acquiring the sense of place, of cultures and social webs.)
He who is no fool to lose that which he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose.
From there, I found my modus operandi: work hard, play hard, and work some more (adrenaline producer).
Schools are so structured and protective. The institutions are built on a foundation of learning, character building and self/status-preserving. Students aren’t encouraged to take risks, much less think out-of-the-box (occasionally, they brought in speakers from “outside”, but the script remains the same: conformity).
I hung out with a group of well-meaning students: wholesome and healthy (Get Together, Kum By Ya). But life outside of campus is quite off-script. On campus, Joe Paterno might be our “God“, Raymond Brown, another one (Penn State Choir), but the Trinity in real life, I found out, were gold, silver and green.
It’s hard to convince people to think critically and carry on intelligent discussions without screaming, attacking and holding a personal vendetta.
At work, instead of collaborating, I found clique after clique.
In school, I forgot that I was non-white. In life, they make sure I am reminded of it.
So, to recent grads: keep losing yourself that you may find it.
Other people may know some parts of you better than yourself. So, to fully discover yourself, you will have play sport-contact against life’s jagged edges.
One day, hopefully sooner than later, you will come to a sudden realization that you are not the center of the universe, and that not every one accepts and loves you unconditionally as your mom and dad have (I use present tense for you, but past tense for me). And the most you can elicit from strangers are like a line in a Chicago album “does anybody know what time it is”.
Life is difficult. Life in post-Recession era is even more difficult.
The only way to survive this downturn is to charge out of the gate, ready to give yourself completely away without hope of a return. Surprise the world with your Camelot zeal . Ask not…..Infect others with your enthusiasm and passion.
We need your strong muscles and your radiant smile.
I love those who pulled all-night going over text books. Now get ready for lengthier and thornier book of life.
It’s only just begun. Ironically the beginning was at the end, the way Orientals flip their books. Counter-prevailing as it is, David Brooks has a point. So was T.S. Elliot.
Thang Nguyen 555 