Tag: SMS

Perceived message

Message received often times is different from message intended.

Wrong timing. Different context and stress level. Words that inadvertently trigger negative emotions.

We live and learn.

It’s not easy to get across, at both cognitive and emotive levels.

Male are known for missing emotional signals more often than female.

That’s why long distance relationships are hard. We can’t rely on non-verbal cues.

Perfect communication doesn’t exist.

Only when two frames of reference converge in a perfect eclipse.

It’s as rare as the Moon and the Sun passing.

Yet we try. We rely on objects to speak for us, on gifts and on symbolism.

These days, people use chat, text and video calls. Yet Hallmarks cards are still thriving.

Twitter is for bursting self-promotion.

Facebook for social, more than two.

LinkedIn for professional networking.

That leaves the ubiquitous SMS and chat (which requires simultaneous typing).

I know that fax and voice mail are on the way out.

Just like pagers and answering machines.

We move on. We change the way we communicate. With emoticons and acronyms..

Languages that once belonged in OPs domain now drifted into our daily conversation.

Machine-like language for a dehumanized world.

Please get to the point ASAP.

OK. I promise to get it done by COB.

Can you hear me saying? All I intend to say is ….

Please don’t get it all wrong. I meant well. Oh, that’s not enough?

Sorry, I completely disregard your circumstances. Are your under stress? I see.

Let me start over again. Since you are this and that….. I just want to say this ….and that. Now we acknowledge the other ‘s level of communication, we begin to factor in empathy. I often feel the same way. People read me wrong most of the time etc…But I found that ….

One of the best conversation on race took place in a(imaginary) trench, between a Princeton Lieutenant (white) and a career sergeant (black) in Matterhorn. Since they both were going to die, the Lieutenant asks the Sergeant to teach him the “hand dance”. After a few times, he still did not feel right. The retort ” that is because you are not Black”.

Even when you meant well, still it’s not enough. Perceived message.

Decoding the thing called Love

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me, twice on the pipe if the answer is No.

We communicate, therefore we are.

Language of the heart.

The vibe. Hearts in sync. Le vent la mer le soleil et la pluie.

Heaven and Earth aligned.

Yin and Yan.

Mothers Day and Fathers Day.

Be brave.

Ask her. Some kids in the future are crying out: “ask her”.

Pappa. Maman.

Trial and error. Tried and true.

Fear not that which you needed most.

Love and fear, two sides of the same coin.

Three times if you want me. Twice on the pipe if the answer is No.

Sending the message in the bottle.

Recording it on papyrus and on (I)pad.

Sending the message via SMS.

Sending an e-mail, in mail, snail mail.

But send it.

Encode it.

She is smart enough to decode it.

It’s the male species who are slow in intuition.

Hello, is it me you are looking for.

I just want, to say, I love you.

We live in a society starving for the real thing.

Yet, all we’ve got are substitutes: for sweetheart we got sweet taste (sugar free), for skin and flesh we got silicon fillings.

Our hearts long to be set free. Yet, it cannot be freed until it is joint with others’.

As long as we decide. Then no more hearts on the roam.

They are meant to be in sync, to the same beats.

When the music stops, the joined hearts beat on. To their own rhythms.

He who listens to these beats will find happiness.

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me. Twice on the pipe, if the answer is No.

Screen and Self

Long ago, we lived in the oral culture. Orators would speak for hours on end.

Now we communicate in short bursts and sound bites (injected with acronyms, see OPP blog).

In between, we had enjoyed the print culture, the Morse code, radio, film and TV , before we got to the Internet with  SMS,  touch-screen and voice-activation.

I was having a conversation today without an awareness that it’s an analog-digital-analog conversion and transmission.

That context is unchanged. The mode of communication has.

I looked at the screen, first to decide whether I should take the call, and what would be my response.

Over the years, adults in our families have served as mirrors and screens.

They told us when our behaviors were proper and when they were not.

Now, we interact more with the screen (let’s say, online education and gaming).

The intelligence in the software sets the standard for what is right and wrong answer.

So, slowly, we build our trust for the screen, our newest and highest authority “It says here in the computer that you owe us xxx amount of dollars”.

Our kids play with imaginary “friends” while we share our “Like” online.

I have mentioned “Being There” in my previous blogs.

It has gotten worse since Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine laughed about “in TV we  trust”.

Many states have prohibited text-while-you-drive.

I don’t know how they are going to enforce it, because by the time the tweet was sent, it’s already done with. It will be hard to “gotcha!”.

One thing is for sure. We, as adaptive creatures, have learned to be more tactile, thumbing our texts and chewing gum at the same time.

All along, the screen and the self have interacted like dance partners, each anticipating the other’s moves (on YouTube, we found a video showing a toddler toying with an Ipad; might as well start them early).

In fact, with self-improved algorithms, Search and other apps learn to guess our very intention.

Everything is in the name of utmost efficiency. Make your point.

No winding hour-long speech: ” Men of Rome! Shall we stand and fight? Yes or No”. Between the TV’s, the smart phones , the tablets and yet-to-be-invented devices, we have it all covered, from cradle to the grave; a life long state of  “being-there” i.e. communion between screen and self. In our age, the latest is the greatest: touch screen eliminates the mouse, voice activation eliminates the touch screen, so on and so forth. I read in the WSJ  today that smart phones are telling jokes “2 I-phones walk into a bar…..” In short, the screen first informs, then tries to educate and entertain, all in one fell swoop. No wonder spouses are jealous of the screen, for the obvious reason: it’s the attention economy, and Spouse/Self  is fighting a losing battle against Screen.