Tag: Thanksgiving

Goodbye Saigon, pt II

Another friend flew out for Thanksgiving.

There is no such a thing here in Saigon: oven-roasted turkey, croton and mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce , yam and apple pie.

Mouth-watering!  children running around and old folks reminiscing the good old days.

Yes, his destination has a few hallmarks of the American Dream.

Here in old Saigon, the only thing that changes is new names on old streets and schools (no longer segregation, so it came with a shock as I rode pass the old all-girl Gia Long High to see the new mix of male and female students)

My friend likes the quote from T.S. Eliot (In my end, my beginning).

He knows the Earth is round, and that at the end of his short stay in Saigon is the beginning of his trans-continental journey to America and Europe.

Before meeting him, I carry water and chop wood.

After meeting him, I carry water and chop wood.

But he left a vacuum hard to fill. Just like our mutual friend, before him (see Goodbye Saigon).

They have sons and daughter to attend to, paper work to sign and friends to play catch up with.

None of us gives up on Saigon. We all think the place deserves a make-over, a second chance (as if it needed our help and opinion).

Rated as most competitive in the nation, Saigon is quite poised to soar and regain its former glory (Pearl of the Orient).

Skyline and sea harbor, street signs and shops, all compete for clientele. Back-packers have a hard time configuring  their Google-map routes. But everyone here knows or are supposed to know where they are going.

Young work force pour over the key board, while street vendors peddle their wares (walking Wal-Mart).

When my friend was here, we used to sit at one of the ronde’s, French round-about, to feel and feed on the energy of bustling traffic.

Afterwards, we would retire to his quiet alley just a few feet away to recuperate. It’s exhausting and exhilarating at the same time to live the night life in Saigon. More bikes take up the space a few moments ago reserved for buses.

Years ago, they stopped allowing tow-trucks to come through before mid-night. So on this Thanksgiving eve, there is no Black Friday here in Saigon. Only window shopping and online shopping. Tourists find it refreshing to stroll the old boulevard, to discover names like Majestic, Continental hotels etc…

Time seems to freeze-frame here. And we took advantage of this to “re-enter” our past (as if it’s ever possible).

American pop songs overheard from retail shops can lure you back to a time when you were first in love or discover love.

Don’t give up on us, baby.

On the other side of the trans-Pacific flight, my friend perhaps is checking out his luggage, going through custom, with the reflexive greeting “Welcome home, mr Ngo”. I like America. When being addressed by Mr so and so, you know it’s official and that you have paid your taxes and your due.

Consumer confidence is returning with rising home prices in the Bay Areas. I hope it spills over across the pond. After all, Fukushima tsunami waves got tossed all the way to San Francisco bay. Why not this time around, with rising economic waters from the West. When my friend returns, he’ll know once again, his next stay in Vietnam would just like T.S. Elliot puts it, “in my end, my beginning”. No way around the inter-dependence and inter-connectedness of our 21st-century living.

Friendship and Fraternity

At work or at home, we relate to a network of people e.g. parents, siblings, neighbors and co-workers.

Now, on top of that, we got our online reputation to build and keep up. It’s the new currency. Trust and transparency.

Amazon and Facebook model are built on that. Delivering what we are promised, on time and every time.

On Social, we live the illusion of grandeur, having connected with many virtual friends, but having no real and close friends.

The key lies in your emotional intelligence and empathy.

Judge not.

The passing-away of my parents left a vacuum hard to fill. Now, I am like Eric Carmen “All by myself” or  Kazuo Ishiguro‘s “When we were orphans“.

I realize I lost more than a set of parents. I lost my two best friends. Friends who cheer me up when I am down. Talk me down when I was way over my head.

You can’t get that online, or ordering it on Amazon.

Then there were friends at work. All of the sudden, when you are out of work, you lost pension and insurance. You lost a set of friends.

Each of us moved on. Some to better positions. Others worse

But the pain remains: we will never get back together, like the Beatles.

Women problems at work are now a popular conversation with Sheryl Sandberg‘s “Lean in”.

But when one is out of work, nobody sings “Stand by me”.

Or, “That’s what friends are for”.

So we keep connecting, liking and commenting.

TED keeps coming up with cerebral lectures to motivate us. Bill Gates with new products that save the world.

But deep down, we all know that people are hurt by this economy. The pain and avoidance of pain take on subtle forms: alcoholism, passive-aggressive behavior and withdrawal.

In other words, what happened out there finally affects what’s in here.

By severing our lifeline, those intangible values of friendship and fraternity, the powers that be have failed to calculate and factor in those hidden costs. That which injures people, set them back and de-motivating. Smart people have moved on to better things taking a page from a different playbook. But those of us who thrive in togetherness and inter-connectedness can never stay whole. Something is missing. Somebody is not showing up at the Thanksgiving table. Then those defensive mechanisms kick in, to explain away someone’s absence e.g. demonizing the person, writing them off as “weird” or “mal-adjusted”. Yes, nature favors those who are the fittest. Wait until nature calls on you.

Meanwhile, I feel like tripping over on some neural minefield. I know we are not dispensable like yesterday’s version of Nokia. But somehow, the hidden costs of industrialization e.g. planned obsolescence and disposable society, have taken a toll on all of us. Starting with some line items on Excel down to our co-workers, then friends and families. It’s easy to connect with thousand friends on Facebook than talking to your parents who know you better than anyone else. I envy those who can “bounce it off” their parents on choices for a career or a mate. It’s necessary and it’s human. We pass on our DNA and our stored experience. As Viktor Frankl puts it ” they can take away my body, but not me who resides in this body”. Our genes pass on, but while we “do time”, we cherish those encounters and engagement with friends. Just a few laughs. Passing the time and not judgment. Seeing the world as if we were they.

I miss my parents this Thanksgiving. They were my best friends who passed on the appreciation for poems and patience with people.

I didn’t realize then, that I was born into a fraternity, where friends cared. That’s what they are for, in good times and bad times.

What’s your tale? Where will you be this Thanksgiving? In it’s origin, it’s a simple meal of wild turkey among early settlers and native American. Friendship was fostered and trust built. A nation was born and decisions were made. Gut check and gut call. True-North alignment to create and grow a nation where all men (fraternity) are born to pursue happiness among them (friendship).

Thanksgiving, tradition and technology

While almost everyone in the US gathers around the traditional meal, here in Vietnam, some people come up with a way to marry tradition with technology: ancestor worship online.

Its highway to eternity has 10,000 plots, already booked for burial and continued ceremonial service online (to accommodate overseas relatives and those who have resettled to urban centers).

Don’t be surprised to see an emerging generation of ICT engineers who ride the waves, from mobile payment to mobile commerce.

If their counterparts in Israel could come up with heritage.com, they sure can match it with ancestor worship online.

Or English learning to match Khan Academy for math tutoring,

English schools sprung up to meet the growing demand for talent infrastructure.

I-pad, I-phone, I-pod could be found at almost every street corner.

Banks are in a race to compete with traditional merchants of gold and hard currency.

One storefront builds out by adding another floor, its neighbors will one-up it ( even hiring away the neighbor’s security guard).

At lunch time (my version of Thanksgiving), I had to zigzag the busy streets to hunt for food.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my family in Virginia perhaps noticed that I missed the Turkey dinner.

A generation back, we wouldn’t know what a turkey tastes like. But I remember our grandmother staying with us, and not the nursing home. My  mom’s generosity spoke louder than all the lessons she had taught at school, whose  sign has always said “Tien Hoc Le, Hau Hoc Van” (First, learn respect, then literature).

With WordPress, LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, I can now connect and be connected to thousands of like-minded professionals. Together we are linked for mutual benefits.

It’s an open race.

Occasionally, we pause to reflect on the past and tradition, like Thanksgiving or ancestor worship.

That too can be accommodated digitally. What can be digitized will be digitized. Except for the plot of land, where my grandmother rested in peace.

I had put down on my must-do list to visit her grave, out in the country side of Hai Duong.

But that too, might be digitally do-able.

Perhaps in the very near future, we in Virginia, can put up on the now-used-for-Karaoke screen, the burning of incense at our grandmother’s grave outside of Hai Duong. Then, it’s only a matter of the will because there already is a way.

Technology and tradition. One ushers you into the future, the other reminds you not to forget the past. Happy Thanksgiving!

Blogging is sharing

It is also fun.

Certainly it is not work.

An insight here, a discovery there.

Hey, look at this!

I still remember appearing in a school play (Elementary).

Got a lot of laughs from the student body (playing a mother, Tootsie style).

Somewhere along the way, we have lost the inclination for play, the urge to create and an eye for  possibilities.

IKEA is redesigning its home-office furniture to accommodate digital demand of a mobile workforce (first they sit in cubicles, then they commute from home with virtual-style cubicles at work or at Starbucks and finally back to the office, per Yahoo).

More than furniture, we too will need to adapt (CD holder and PC desk anyone? before Goodwill takes them).

Even Palm is up for auction.

I didn’t  let Amazon‘s Fire go unnoticed.

Whoever named that product knows a thing or two about human need for tribal affiliation, for gathering around the camp fire.

Camera men and news men all know that viewers glue to the set when they show fire scenes.

TV screen has replaced that warm fireplace in everyone’s home. Now Amazon’s Fire (pad) wants to take it to go.

Hey look at this (from my Fire).

E commerce has just got leg.

No longer shoppers are desk-bound or multitasking during lunch hour (last-minute browsing and clicking “Put this in Shopping Cart” for the holiday season).

Speaking of Holiday Seasons. It looks as if we are home free with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas-shopping).

Consumers spending drives the economy forward (bulk shopping in December).

What is the point of putting up Christmas decoration in the house while telling your children to shut the door (to guests and families).

Kids are smarter than we think (mine said yelling is counter-productive i.e. honey makes for better mouse trap).

Back to my Elementary school play. Back to childlike creativity and imagination. Back to sharing. Back to the beginning when everyone got his/her allotted sparks of creativity and of the divine.

It’s still there, lying dormant underneath your Christmas decoration. Sharing is not seasonal. And the tribal fire has never meant to be extinguished. It was meant to be shared, in gathering circle.

Just like when we were told to sit in circle, at a school play, dressing up like Tootsie.