Tag: Sandusky

Matchmaking

In Vietnam, one of the first questions is What animal represents you? (12 symbols of the zodiac).

Second question is, how come you are single. Find someone to alleviate your miserable state of being single (collective society).

Third and logical conclusion: find someone, whose symbol matches yours, yin-yan, fire and ice, earth and sky etc…

I found this mechanism an easy way out, as opposed to Vietnam Got Talent, where candidates are picked base on their merits.

What do you expect? You are known to others as son or daughter of so and so.

This reminds me of the Museum of Innocence which recounts a story of a character who fell in love with his distant cousin. No where can you find individualism collide more with social more. He managed to collect even her hair to be displayed later in what he called, the Museum of Innocence.

I found a public comb hanging in the men’s restroom at an ACB bank branch here in Vietnam. Apparently, it’s common property, to be shared among the men.

Part of my missing education, was that by the time I was supposed to reap the benefits of all that our country had to offer e.g. matchmaking system, shared mores, shared pot of luck (guests would pitch in to jumpstart a new family), I instead launched cold turkey ino the culture of sports at Penn State, of extreme competition although we always chanted “We Are”.

The “We Are” in Vietnam is quite different from the “We Are” at Penn State.

The latter nailed Coach JoePa to be the fall guy (while it’s Sandusky who was supposed to be nailed).

I am not defending the former “We Are”, nor do I accuse the latter.

But in Vietnam, for example, a rape which occured within the four walls, stays within the four walls.

The victim would rather be dead than seeing her family be put to shame.

So life goes on. What’s your animal symbol?

Use that comb. Shake off  the past. Forget and move on.

You will never find a public comb in Penn State lockers, where We Are is the chant.

But you will find it here.

and maybe, even a suitable other-half, if you can answer the first few questions by the matchmaker.

Oh, by the way, these days, they also asked if you had own a house. A scooter was a given. Just as back then, they assumed you own some buffalos to tend the field.

My sister has lived a hard but productive life. As symbolized by the animal represents her.

Mine? you guess. It’s the monkey. Jumping from tree to tree , culture to culture and not commit completely to one set of beliefs. It’s boring for a monkey to sit under the shade of just one tree in a forest full of them. It would bore him to tears. Scratching that ich all day wondering if the next tree might be worth the leap. Who knows, I might find happiness at the next bend, next road less travel. And if not, the journey itself is the reward.

What’s your animal symbol? or Avatar? You see, each culture has its own way to move beyond one self. To break out of what’s given, what’s restricted.

May you find your match, off or online.

Myopia

It was just a few years ago when friends and I discussed the inevitable departure of Joe Paterno at Penn State. Retired? Replaced? Removed? Now, it turns out, it’s his statue that got removed.

Who would have conjured up that scenario.

Today, the Nittany Lions will get their verdict from the NCAA. I am hoping for a lighter sentence. I bleed Blue.

(and Orange, at MCI).

Penn State taught me about being a team player. WE ARE.

Today, my team, our team gets punished.

Not for its diligence and desire to win. But for its failure in moral leadership.

Physical and moral aptitude, hand in hand.

Certain lines cannot be crossed, not without penalty. We know the rules. We play by the rules. Now we are penalized by the rules. Fair play. The only way.

There will be no applause sound track today. Maybe just silence. The same silence that the leadership at Penn State chose as a response to the Sandusky‘s accusation a decade ago.

When I went to school there, during Spring Break concert, the opening act was “Here comes the Sun“. Maybe the school should invite that guy to play again. Maybe, the magic works again.

Pushing away darkness, pushing away institutional myopia. And most of all, showing and shedding more lights on Beaver Stadium, where our school mascot will once again do one-hand push-ups on the sideline while defense” Push them back, push them back way back.”

Taking chances

Peter’s Principle states that line managers are often promoted “beyond their level of competency”.

In other words, a technical guy, best at his job, ends up being the boss who has to crawl his way through business dilemma and personnel issues.

In life, however, some problems cannot be solved at the same level where they had first occurred. Bully problems at school, for instance, need intervention. Or as recently as this morning, Sandusky‘s sin exposed and dealt with in public.

It’s a call to take chances, to take risks if we were to make any progress.

This Recession has drawn out both the best and the worst in us.

Some of us rose to the occasion. Diversify ourselves. Or take the high road (going after our passion or non-profit work).

Others just checked out. Drifted.

I have met a bunch of expats who kept staying in-country indefinitely.

Extended vacation.

Or permanent student.

Profitable venues i.e. financial and housing sectors are hitting bottom.

We are left with the “sure things”: food, clothing and shelter (renting).

Even families once so close now seem so far. Recession pull them apart, that was.

My friend reminded me how long it took Japan to get through its V-shaped recovery. 18 years.

Ouch! I will be dead by then.

Still there are things that need risks: crossing the street, eating one more bite of that greasy foods or banking on the elusive thing called love.

Friends went into fields which are quite different from their academic and career backgrounds. That’s risk-taking.

I spotted excitement and adrenaline.

For VC‘s, they need to hit 20% of the time, to cover the other 80% failures.

Still it’s worth it.

Still taking that chance.

Still go for it. Or else it wouldn’t be solving the problem at a higher level.

Because after all, many of those problems cannot be solved if left where it started.

But beware of over-promotion (beyond one’s level of competency). Peter’s Principle.