Social dynamics

Like aerodynamics,  social dynamics involve working with conflicts, not avoiding them.

Since we are all made differently, we accept change at various speed.

That’s why some ideas are voted down immediately.

Others might take some arm-twisting.

For instance, it took a while for some emerging countries to introduce the condoms. Used to be a cultural taboo to mention the subject of sex.

Now, you can find Condom Store in Vietnam.

Years ago, people there were rushing abroad to seek better life.

Now, they would rather see returnees marry them and settle there: best of both worlds.

The West has lost some of its luster.

Besides, “Western” draws have made their ways there: KFC, Carl’s Jr, Domino Pizza, Hard Rock Cafe, Starbucks and LV handbags.

Why not stay home and wait for it (the West) to come.

I came back to SF airport and found on my flight mostly of Asian origins. Are there any Westerners touring Asia these days?

In Asia, people tend not to disagree with you out right.

They accumulate the points of differences, and give them back to you in one fell swoop.

Ouch!

You thought silence was consent.

People skilled in diplomacy anticipated opposite reaction and worked that into their presentation. It’s called getting the buy-in.

But in the end, it’s all in the relationships.

People-people bonds are stronger than idea-idea boundaries.

Let’s build more bridges than barriers.

Knowing in the absence of conflict, we don’t have real dialogue.

Differences define us and strengthen us as people living in a pluralistic society. Like aerodynamics, social dynamics need to face some headwinds and opposing ideas to rise.

Speaking one’s mind

She came back today to visit the school, accompanied by her Dad.

Forthcoming, confident and spoke her mind. After all, to her, “time is money”.

Up to 19 AUD per hour, doing what natives wouldn’t otherwise do: taking care of old folks.

Another day at work. Another day of plugging away, but not without occasional joy of seeing others’ dreams come true.

Mine was simple: just to survive, to grow, to learn and to love.

Not even qualified as a dream. Yet it has been difficult, like Scott Peck‘s opening sentence in The Road Less Traveled.

People like myself ardently refuse to accept that the line between A and B is the shortest.

To the end.

Because my “B” has yet been determined. It could be the Omega, or it could be next life. It could be out of space (unobservable, hence unmeasurable), or inner space.

You are welcome to debate.

But then, the practicality of life kicks in and ends all debates. Time out for lunch.

Who is going to pay for it?

Life is easy and difficult at the same time.

Lottery winners found it easy for a while, until they burned it all.

Back to training, to equipping students for the journey.

They found that despite all the inoculation, it still took two months to adjust to a new surrounding (culture shock).

Then, it’s their turn to come home. To speak one’s mind. To tell it all, as returnees from the West should. With freedom comes free thinking, not necessarily clear, but free.

Lay it all out. I can take it. I am gamed . Take a shot. Strength in broken places.

Reaping rewards

Image of an old guy spread out on his Harley w/ a cigar in his mouth stuck with me.

To him, that was it. The end game.

Reaping the windfall.

In Seven Habits of Effective People, Steven Covey urges his readers to “begin with the end in mind”.

I guess, in this case, I better learn how to ride the beast.

(you can keep the cigar).

As a society, we are approaching another end-game: that of a Blade Runner Society,

first in the name of telemedicine, then enters cyber state control armed with speech recognition, facial recognition, Caller ID, individualized embedded chips, behavioral search …..to make possible convergence (of service and product brokerage).

A return to Eden. The Holy Grail of SuperMart in the Cloud.  A return to the original Amazon via the online Amazon.  Time saving. Money saving. Energy saving (most eerie when a company in Japan mandates its employees to get the same hair cut, to save energy e.g. hair dryer and water).

Cutting through the chase. No long sales cycle.

Just closing.

The B2B apps watered down version for consumer use.

Touch screen mobile phones, on all phones.

Commerce used to be a person-to-person transaction (begins and ends with a hand shake).

Then, with prosumer movement, we gave birth to a self-help and self-serve society.

Now, we are volunteering our data (and eventually, our medical data) to save ourselves (some counties already have citizens uploaded their personal data like where the bedrooms are, the medical records etc… for first responders’ rapid response).

The arrival of self-revealing society will not be greeted without a fight.

With help from Harrison-Ford– type, heroes of the resistance.

Preferably, French, with his beret and gilet.

Studies have shown that we prefer filling out a form, online or on paper, as opposed to revealing intimate personal details (like Social Security) to strangers. Yet, it’s a stranger who will have access to those data eventually (cyber-verify), be it a naked picture, or our “Likes” on Facebook.

Throughout these pages, I have stage-managed my digital footprints to pre-empt data distortion.

As long as we can still choose, originate and leave out any content then we are still in control. Google 1+ can aggregate our social graph to connect the dots, but it cannot pin down thoughts I chose to leave out, or sites I refused to click on.

The future of privacy belongs to those who choose what not to reveal.

Virtually, we are right back to the gated houses on Long Island. The mansion in Pakistan.

And the New England white fences.

Companies that respect consumer’s secrecy and sacredness win.

To reap future rewards, Harley and Cuban cigars, one needs to respect the man-2-man transaction,

just like it’s been done on the Silk Road. Technology only hastens that which one already chose as modus operandi. No wonder they said emerging countries tend to adopt telemedicine more quickly. India, meanwhile, hastens a national ID project to facilitate banking and social services.

By leapfrogging to the  bio-metric space, India inadvertently is building its cyyber-infrastructure,

like China with its physical one. The things they built were dictated by necessity

as much as availability (of latest tech). We are all in the race to reap the rewards, Blade runner style.

Asian self-awareness

In some cultures, people felt ashamed to put on clothes, or if they dressed at all, they would go to the middle of the house in plain view instead of the far corner (where it would draw more attention to the act of changing).

Au contraire, at 24-hr fitness, I notice most of the corner lockers are taken.

In the slump of Calcutta, people have to make do with limited water supplies (10 times less per person than in the West), hence, bathing with their clothes on in public.

When you cross that invisible line between the cultures (East-West, in this case), you move toward individualism. Second-generation Asian American, the I generation, wants nothing to do with their parent’s past i.e. collective living, sharing with siblings or vertical integration with grandparent generations .

I kept hearing that soldiers in the Middle East who defected to neighboring countries’ refugee camps, said they did not want to shoot randomly at mothers, uncles, children etc… Some people are still connected in an extended families web.

The Tunisian vegetable vendor  yearned to break free, to explore, and assert  his rights to exist (while dictators kept dyeing their hair to look young, in control and in charge).

The advice used to be “go West young man”, or “plastic is it”.

Now, backpackers want to go East, and silicon is it.

You know you have completely crossed that invisible cultural divide when you asserted that you are an Asian-American lesbian, with tatoo and want to “kick the hornet’s net”.

– First, it’s not socially acceptable for Asian to self-promote (unless you are in show business – which follows its lead from world’s cosmopolitan centers) for a nail that sticks up gets hammered down,

– Second, although not as extreme as the Taliban, Asian societies are still coming to terms with women in the work place (hence, out of the home). Currently, an act of woman driving alone in some Mid-East cities equates to an act of defiance.

– Third, even in America, and California outside of San Francisco, people are slowly warming up to gay couples and gay marriages.

Social networking helps equal the playing field. The default and template-directed choices both restrict and encourage Asian to “fit” in this new playground (more Asian are on Facebook than any other social networks).

In today’s China, young people are more aware of themselves, and assert their individualism (rapid urbanization in coastal cities) while Chinese society as a whole only focuses on making money. Hence, bikini contest to raise awareness to a cause is an echo of the West’s no-fur protest. (as of this edit, there was a recent Tunisian women lib protest called Female Jihad).

It’s ironic that as Western companies are moving toward collaboration and co-creation , Eastern societies are moving toward individualism and assertion of rights ( China’s wage pressures). In Post-American World 2.0, Fareed noticed that, for 60 years, American went about promoting individual rights and globalisation.

Now that emerging countries picked up on that and welcome MNC’s (GE and Ford made most profits overseas), America forgot to globalise itself (foreign countries are not quite reciprocally welcome e.g, Korean batteries company in Michigan or Chinese refrigeration company in S Carolina).

Maybe someday, there will  be a mutual ground (Hawaii?) where the twain shall meet.

For now, Asian living in America are still negotiating and taking inventory of their predecessors’ cultural baggage (Chinese laundry).

Like a college student leaving home for the first time, she needs to decide which items to keep, or leave behind (for the compact car can only hold so much).

I know she will miss mom’s cooking and dad’s stern disapproval. It’s called conscience.

Internalized code of ethics. Even when rebelliousness is factored in, Asian kids are still slated to excel in college, if not Ivy League (Tiger Moms). Some kids even went on to fulfill their roles as model minorities (doctors and dentists) (a Korean doctor is coming out with a book entitled “In Stitches”).  A few follow Lang Lang and Yo yo Ma

But none so far, emerged in the league of Gaga or Paris Hilton.

It takes generations for the gene pool to produce mega stars, and even then, they can’t handle success (Lohan) or turn up dead (Bruce Lee). In cross-cultural studies, I learned that Asian societies are analogous to crabs in a container (with out a lid, because as soon as an “individualized one” manages to crawl out, its legs are caught by another’s which pulls it right back). There’s no “defriending” button in Asian society. But then again, there is no need to go rob a bank for a buck, to get inmate’s medicare as showed in the news recently. In “On China”, Mr Kissinger referred to the 19 th century during which a British merchant presented his industrial product samples only to be misconstrued as Britain paying tribute to the Middle Kingdom. That mindset i.e. old China to burn their own naval fleet, cheated them out of centuries of progress.

Until 1980 and until now.