Tag: Travel

Out of the box

We are urged to “think out of the box“, be creative etc..

Easier said than done. Having a liberal arts background, and traveled the world, I find it easier just get out of the box, then think from there.

Every place has its own charms and setbacks. Every place gets good and bad people.

Don’t assume, from the propaganda, that your place is best, and theirs worst.

Maturity comes only after you have examined and experienced places and people for yourself.

Ivory-tower and Ivy League people often organize “insulated” academic travel tours to stimulate cross-cultural thinking (most of the time, it’s West-East, and not East-West, although more Chinese can now afford world travel).

Out of these excursions, maybe emerge one diplomat or global business person.

Most came back, feeling good about one’s self that he/she is living in a well-off society, where Wal-Mart rules.

Then at work, they urge us to think out of the box once again. You can’t legislate morality, nor can you squeeze creativity out of workers.

After all, isn’t it written in company’s policies that when X happens, Y is the answer!

Without pressures, we tend to lean back into the path of least resistance.

Peak performance, heroism, and valor come in the middle of heavy fire.

One’s life and achievement are highlighted in those critical moments of choice.

This way or that way. One positive strain then another. Keep paying forward.

Keep finding that road less travel. Approach it from another angle. From other’s point of view. What you see depends on where you stand Hence, to think out of the box, sometimes, but not necessary requires one to be out of the box altogether.

I am out of the box, geographically. I hope I can see things in new light, before I too get settled into daily routine, which eventually blind-sight me. My itching and aching heart by then, will hear the call of the wild. That’s what short-trips are for.

To regain perspective, to see old things in new light. To feel refreshed. To love one’s place all over again. It’s not the place. It’s the people living in it, and how they make the most of its context. Can’t think out of the box when you have lived in it for so long.

Self-appreciation

Bachelor Party. Spring Break. Girls’ Night Out. Spousal date…and the list goes on.

One of the things foreigners found fascinating about America is its sense of enjoyment (and sometimes entitlement). We’re gonna party, Winter Spring Summer or Fall.

Time for yourself.

Look at yourself in the mirror, just to acknowledge the reflection that is there.

Say, “I appreciate you” for…..(fill-in the blank)

Staying the course when others convince you to lower your self-expectations.

Listening to the inner voice and longing to connect, which only you know intimately.

That reservoir needs to be refilled. Take a Sabbatical break.

When one appreciates oneself, one can then appreciate others.

Self-denial can only go so far. Self-appreciation, on the other hand, is like daily vitamins.

After all, out of the many people you have met, who else knows you better than yourself:

the dark night of the soul, the bliss that comes unexpectedly (but not enough, especially when you were raised in a self-denial culture).

Appreciation is a offspring of gratitude.

You are thankful for being nurtured by the larger human family e.g. those unsung heroes who tilt the land and whose products end up at WholeFoods or Fastfoods; those scientists whose work were adopted by main stream, but remain unacknowledged (in the name of National Securities) e.g. 3-D printing, un-maned aircrafts, gene sequencing.

The story of our century is not about technology, but about technology bunched up into critical mass that help advance mankind:  crowdfunding here, a micro-loan there, gifts for the poor and gifts to loved ones.

All made possible via the internet and creative apps (Kickstarter helps fund movie scripts).

Individuals are empowered to voice and to give. That sense of helplessness is taken out of the equation. No more lacking in ways, just in will.

Back to the drawing board. Back to self-appreciation. Give yourself some slacks. Only then, can we be of use to others. Man exists to rise above mere survival instincts. To appreciate one’s self and others.  That connection has to start somewhere, really close to home.

I am sure you can list top of your head a dozen positive things about yourself.

Then go out to build on top of that, as a token of appreciation to your very best self.

jet lag

Jet lag makes you feel hallucinating. Your body clock is still in sync with the old-time zone, and so, your sleep is out of whack.  Brought back a memory of a minor jet lag (East coast, West coast), whose hotel bed could not even induce me to sleep.

Then I visited my mom at her then assisted living apartment. As soon as I got there, I just laid down and took a nap.

My most peaceful nap to date, and the  last time I remember ever be near the womb which had incubated me.

We are defenseless against forces of nature. Yet we need to survive as much as ants in their colonies.

Somewhere along the line, we learn when to push the limits, when to yield to Jurassic Park electrified edge.

Aging is one.

I could handle jet lag in my younger years much better (coming back from the East doesn’t help).

I however use this time to recover and reflect, on lessons learned.

I learned from people young and old, and not just old.

I picked up a few tips from people of different personalities and nationalities.

You can say, I try to cross-pollinate while cross-referencing my newly acquired contextual learning.

I found out there are many ways to skin a cat, carve a cow and smoke beef.

Just as there are many ways to love and express love. Betrayal however has only one.

Even then, I learned. All along still trusting, still hoping there will always be next time. Hope never fails.

And jet lag doesn’t last forever. Just like any lingering pain at the joint or the heart.

I have never come back to that Assisted Living since my mom had long passed away. But every time I got a jet lag, I do miss having that nap on Mom’s bed. Feel safe and accepted, no matter how far along you have been.

Fear as Motivator

As a child I feared rising flood water (drowning).

I feared thief by night, bully by day.

I feared having to stand out in the crowd (wearing bright colors).

For a nail that sticks up will be hammered down.

Fear of being drafted, of being called out in class to recite something in English.

Fear of being compared to other high achievers (relatives or peers).

Vietnamese childhood has been a dread.

Peer and parental pressures would make “Tiger Mom” in America paper Tiger.

French teachers would check my finger nails every day, and neighbors would stare if I put on a new shirt. Later, in seminary and seminars at corporate level, people would ensure conformity (rep ties, Oxford blue .. the Brook Brothers look). Sales trainers role-played down to a firm handshake and advised our teeth-cleaning every three months.

All that, until the pink slip came.

Then I don’t put much weight behind those fear of the unknown. Some people whose life was totally invested in those codes, couldn’t take it e.g. retirees from the CIA were known to die within a few years off-service.

The old Command-and-Control system works well within the confine of those groups (cultic and militaristic).

But our new world, our multi-polar world, is looking for a different kind of leaders or even leaderless organization.

The best thing can happen to a worker is being fired. Then he/she can begin a new narrative and journey.

The mother of all fears is fear of death. Work back from there, and you will be amazed.

In my end, my beginning.

Like it or not, we are armed with an instinct to survive (camouflage, conformity and compromise). We know when to hold, when to fold.

The cavemen reflexes are built-in.

Cavemen or corporate men.

IBM Red-white-and-blue or hairy beardy 60’s. We carry our fears around.

Just use it, as a motivator.

A little more risk here, a toning down there. We will find the ideal mix between self-destruction and self-preservation.

Those who venture nothing gain nothing.

Those who risk it all, got nothing left to show.

But progress demands self-disruption and self-examination.

History is made by those who both advanced and retreated.

The fear business, like the vice business, take up a lot of GNP.

9/11 took that up a few notches: scanning machines and profiling algorithms.

With all the security apparatus in place, we still fear (no large shampoo in carry on).

Fear paralyzes, fun liberates.

Animals spring out to appear larger than they are (to self-preserve).

Butterflies also flap their wings to gain wind leverage and to avoid capture.

Use that which we are endowed with.

Fear motivates but dull not our senses because of fear.

The odd that something bad happens twice at the same place and circumstances is nil. Use our heads. People who got Purple Heart are testimonies to valor and courage, in the face of fear. I still fear of flood, of bullies and of corporal punishment. But they fear me too, if I turned off mine.

Use it.

Seasons and symmetry

Traffic in the past few weeks has come from the opposite direction: country side to city streets. Tet is over.

We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun. Now it’s time to ramp up, to deliver.

There are things that can only be understood in hindsight:  a failed marriage, a single parent who hangs on to his now-grown daughter etc…

Never second-guess yourself. If only I could do it over….

You got one shot at life but not blindly, since all the hints and signals were there.

As long as we don’t play “solitaire”, others would be glad to point them out to us.

For years, I have lived with the flow (time and space) i.e. could never come back to the time and place where I was from.

I have been wrong on that count.

Seasons do come around, in symmetry.

Fall aging, Summer fun, Winter loneliness and Spring hope.

There is not a thing that goes to waste under the Sun.

Years ago, I couldn’t understand why my American friend would major in horticulture. Growing up in the city all my life, I found his field of study utterly foreign; it might as well be nuclear physics.

Now we have organic foods, co-op, environmental conservation etc….

(there was a 6.4 earthquake in Peru a few days ago).

We will never be “cooler” than under current ecosystem.

One planet, one shot deal.

Love the ones you’ve got: a crescent moon, blooming flowers, a child’s smile.

Even when you decide to burn the candle from both ends, it still is the only candle you’ve got.

I can understand youthful ambition, false confidence and the illusion of grandeur.

After all, we all work with unchecked assumptions.

Yet, “an unexamined life is not worth living,” says Socrates.

The Aztecs used to run under a very different calendar than ours. So did the Mayans and most Asian countries (Lunar calendar). Circular and cyclical rather than linear or Alpha-Omega .

Because it will come around, people are more conscious of consequences (could be arriving in next life). So Tet is over, but its season of hope has just started.

Traffic is back and workers are turning on the assembly line switches.

Just as they did last year and the year before.

But next year, again with reverse traffic flow,  but the aging mother and father might not be around waiting for them at home. It’s not the unexpected. It is to be expected. We ‘ve only just begun…with seasons in the sun, its symmetry and surprises. Savour it!

The more the merrier

Next week, we welcome Earth’s 7 Billionth baby into our human family.

When I was born, relatives came to the hospital to visit (as commonly observed even today, in Vietnam). B/W photos were taken and sent up North for our extended families to “take notes”. The more the merrier. Nobody cared who Malthus was. If you showed up, one more bowl and a pair of chopsticks were all you need. In fact, the most common greeting was “have you eaten yet”. Memories of those early days came to me, often because of large family gatherings, with meals on the altar, and meals on the table.

We commemorated ancestors’ anniversary more than celebrated newcomers’ birthday.

In fact, I found out that my grandfather used to share lunch with more than a dozen people at a time. Obviously, he didn’t need “Never eat alone” advice.

Fast forward to our digital era with Siri apps and Google unmanned vehicles, we find a world obsessed with pharma instead of farming.

Instead of taking vitamin pills (whose latest studies have shown to be ineffectual), people are taking pain-relieving pills, sleeping pills and birth-control pills.

The Boeing 787 flight between Tokyo and Hong Kong inaugurated the Pacific Century, as much as Lindbergh’s American Century.

Population growth tilts toward BRIC countries. Yet in the US, there is a shortage of skilled workers since the babyboomers are retiring en mass.

BTW, to give credits where they deserve, trusted Sales Representatives are still in demand, despite recent push in productivity and automation.

People still buy from people and have lunch (connecting) with people.

Yet Sales has been and still is considered non-academic, hence it is excluded from the curriculum ( per latest issue of  theEconomist).

Back to 7 Billion of us whose life expectancy will be in the 70’s (hint, larger fonts and slower driving).

Besides strength in numbers, we live in the most open-minded global society ever. Even the cash-rich Kennedys had to face “religion” issue when campaigning back in the 60’s. Now, you can be openly gay, happily married and run for public office. What used to be “alternative” has become “conventional”.

And the new China’s middle class. Boy oh boy! When they shop, they shop till they drop. I happened to witness their Japanese counterparts in the late 80’s half-way to Las Vegas, at an outlet stop. I wonder how much more aggressive Mainland shoppers will act after their wins at the table.

Back in the late 70’s, after the Oil Embargo, many thought we had reached the “limits to growth”.  Somehow, we managed to clean up Alaska and Louisiana, Hiroshima and Fukushima .

The MIT and the MITI, Korean and Vietnamese, all work hard in a race against the Machine. When Malthus predicted that we had reached Earth’s limits, he did not foresee the coming of the Machine. German software engineers help VW propel  pass Toyota, while Samsung pass Sony and Apple in tablet sales. Bring it on, globally.

Long ago, when we commemorated our grandmother’s anniversary, my mom  always planned extra bowls and chopsticks . The more, the merrier; but I can now put away the extra bowl and chopsticks, since proponents of automation argue that machines don’t sleep and eat. Win-win. Will see.

last leaf

Skyline of West VA presents quite a scene and makes a case for Fall foliage. We used to play King of the Hill on top of a heap of dead leaves.

Reminds me of the Last Leaf, a story about a terminally ill patient looking out the window and said “when those leaves all fell away, I too would take my last breath”.

Our hero in the story waited till night fall to climb and paint an autumn leaf on the wall outside the window. “See, there is still hope. That last leaf still hangs in there, so can you”.

The patient eventually recovered. Without delivering the last lecture, he had the last laugh thanks to that last leaf.

The wheel of commerce has got stuck for quite some time. No capital for our capital-driven society, like a deer caught in an incoming headlight.

Terminally ill but still hopeful.

People already coined a new phrase,  “the post-consumerism society” (are we going to recycle old clothes, old styles – 70’s? ).

Like the terminally ill patient,  we as a society needs to hone our will to survive.

If I were the last leaf, I would dance with the wind, even defy gravity to buy me some time. And I refuse to go out with that institutional fluorescent overhead light (by default, it’s our last view while alive).  I would smile, and thank all the kind faces that have smiled at me during my entire life.

I often visited a cousin outside of HCMC. She was said to have visited me when I was born. I must have remembered it well, because I have returned the favor many times over.

In between stimulus and response, there is a pause. That pause of a millisecond could be for good or ill (The Vietnamese revolutionist once said to the French executioner at the gullotine, “let me die looking up so I can see how sharp your blade is”.)

In between Empty and the actual stopping of a car, there is always a reserve.

We have that reserve of good will, resilience, adaptability and untapped resources.

Put it to use now. Make it contagious. Practice leadership skills (Mongolian Khan got out of prison because his wife sold herself to the silk traders to bail him out. We know  the rest of history).

That’s Khan. That’s his-story. Now, it’s our-story. Last leaf or last laugh?