Tag: Health

Individualism-collectivism

We got to stay somewhere in the healthy middle.

Infrastructure building, social safety net and cyber security, cannot be achieved without collaboration and commitment. Far out in the ultra left , we got sustainability and science (to far-out galaxy).

Can’t go alone. Not far.

So celebrate Independence Day, or more rightly, Co-Dependence Day.

Leading causes of death used to be influenza, diarrhea etc.. Now, it’s cardio vascular and cancer.

All thanks to world scientists and drug manufacturers who made vaccine available.

The Gates Foundation is active on this front. Three cheers to the Billionaire.

Occasional pops of firecrackers are nothing compared to Regional Fireworks show tonight.

Another example of collaboration, of group over the individuals.

Yet, individuals often times go alone, in the garage or the lab, to face “dark night of the soul“, to return to the source, to figure it all out, to discover and connect the dots (Steve Johnson noticed that inventions often clustered around a certain period in history if we zoomed out).

Insight came to an individual, but needs validation and verification.

That’s where science needs to co-discovered in a Body or Community..

The pull of the 60’s was a collective one, albeit its central message was individualism. Now, we got TED talk, the ultimate digital “commune”, of crowd-sourcing.

It’s ironic to have a bunch of old hippies in need of health care and hospices.

Individualism or collectivism?

Failure as prereq

Maybe it’s just me. But people I associate with don’t seem to do well these days.

Sectors once thrived are now wiped out: telecom, housing and to some extent, publishing.

HR at HP has been busy.

We learn from failure.

By turning it into seed of success.

Success and failure leave a different taste in the mouth: sweet and sour.

To live a full life, one needs to learn how to swallow both.

Failure often accompanies loneliness. You wouldn’t go out and celebrate with others.

You lick your own wound in the dark and in isolation.

You won’t find many Yes men around to toast with.

It’s meeting-Jesus time.

Penance.

Retrenching. Redemption.

Taking inventory: what assets  vs what liabilities?

Learn to stage a return. Review the script.

Check the audition board.

They always need fresh meat for the rituals (sacrificial lamb).

What came before will come around again.

No one is born a loser.

Unless we allow the statement to stay true.

Failure is as common as a bruised knee.

Keep getting back up and ride. The balance is found in continuing motion, in trying.

Failure teaches us more than success, albeit bitter lessons in penance.

Hopefully people I know who are in a rut , know how to soon put it behind and try again, instead of fail to try.

Inter-group problems

At work or in life, people are bunched together “us vs them”.

No way around this. Shared values and “group DNA“.

I am glad to see titles like Chief Cultural Officer. It’s about time we see how group think, group problems and group competition affect the bottom line.

As we move away from the Command-Control management style, which demands total conformity and compliance; we inevitably get closer to the chaos spectrum, where groups or cliques thrive.

Great leaders know how to balance these constituencies or stakeholders.

Get the buy-ins, ask for their opinions and contributions.  Make them think success is the result of their efforts, and even better, their joint efforts.

Nothing works better than healthy competition. Brings out optimal performance.

Parents like to play one child against  the other. Teachers learn that each child has a different learning style.

They should model after Personal Trainer, because each person progresses at various pace.

Back to groups at work. First, create a common vision and language.

Then obtain agreement on what are the metrics for success.

And of course, go out and win together.

When you have inter-group conflict, you know the engine is working.

Got to have friction.

Got to move ahead.

And soon enough, comes time for reward and ….yes, envy.

We are human still.

People-people problems

Technical issues can be dealt with, even if we have to farm it out.

People problems, especially when it’s personal, and potentially embarrassing, tend to linger on, and if unresolved and cancerous.

We simply wish they go away.

And they will. When the people died.

Those of us who stand one foot in tech and the other in marketing must understand where our customers are, before we can sell them. Consumer savvy and marketer savoir faire.

When relationships are going well, nothing come close.

We sleep better, eat better and drink more.

Joie de vivre.

It keeps going and going.

We need to work with and through people to achieve great things.

We need people to use our services and products.

And we need people to share our time and lives with .

Unless you want to read the whole library, alone,  the rest of your life.

People who need people.

People who are hurt by people.

And people who think they can do without people.

Learn the basics: their needs and wants, their psychological make-ups,

and even learn through mistakes: what makes them tick.

The thing about people is that they know when we are sincere and trying.

And chances are, because none of us are angels, we will soon forgive the person who pissed us off, since we ourselves are none the better.

I hope things work out for you this day, as mine did.

I could sleep through the night just because people-people problem went away.

Again, we smile at people. Curse them not. Because positivity begets more of the same. Keep your relationship currency balance. And free your emotional reserve to collaborate and to achieve greatness.

Rain and rhythm

Chewing gum jingle, and it seems to work:  “looking for a brand new start”.

Each day, we woke up to a start. Just like that first day out of our mother’s womb. Not knowing what to expect.

Not knowing who to trust.

Not knowing the future.

Will it rain today? Or same ole sticky heat?

Rain and tears or just tears?

Pain as part of life. No pain no gain, no growth.

People who insulate themselves from challenges and changes will never grow.

They chew the gum over and over.

Same predictable rhythm. Power-saving mode. Auto-pilot.

But no excitement. No surprises. No set back and no break through.

Organization tends to work itself from chaos into predictability, the path of least resistance. The maintenance mode. High maintenance since the beast needs to be fed.

Hence huge bureaucracy.

Yet today’s market asks for agility, flexibility and formless boundaries. Be water.

Shaped according its container.

10,000 hours of  repetition to become a master.

Fear that dedication and determination.

Don’t stop at black belt, or even red belt.

Overcome your own self. That inner resistance, that self-sabotaging tendency:

I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t deserve that espresso, that sweet cake.

Somehow, it’s always someone else’s but not ours.

Yet our Maker has a different script for us.

You can’t drop out of the margins that He has set, no matter how hard you tried. Rebelliousness or religiousness.

It’s indifference that is hard to cure.

So be bad  to the bones. Be good to the bones. Our world needs leaders who are decisive and determined.

Not wishy-washy type. Not opinionated type. Not losers’ type.

I respect people who tried and failed. I despise people who failed to try.

Rain got its rhythm, even when mixed with tears. Tears heal all wounds, from trying really hard. Not indecision and inactivity.

Take it up one notch

I am all for PE (Physical Education).

This trend has picked up in Vietnam; all the powers to young people.

Gold gym, Cali gym, NVK gym, Nhat Dang Nhi Da etc…. Let’s go. One and two.

Lift those arms, kick those legs.

Be healthy and be green.

(I have blogged too much about death and caskets, since I live near a funeral parlor).

This morning I saw a tennis tournament take place at Lan Anh Club.

To be fair, Vietnam’s young demographics are ensuring their fighting chance.

Vietnam got Talent. Got health and ambition.

Pressures from below and pressures from above.

Between the rock and a hard place. You are in between hot oil and the frying pan.

Find the optimal medium.

Work hard and work smart.

Spend wisely, and invest heavily (in people and connection).

Meanwhile, lift those muscles, not letting the scooters and machinery do all the lifting.

Industrialization and its discontent.

Coming to the machine near you.

Soon, Vietnam will get over its first love with smokestacks.

It will step back and look at its polluted landscape (Dong Nai, Binh Duong).

And ask itself, is this worth it all, our health and our grandchildren’s health!

Nguoi Viet Khoe. NVK.

A gym near you.

It doesn’t cost much to join. But it takes pain to tone those unused muscles.

Then the alteration folks are standing by to hem those lines and fit those loosed shirts.

Have a great work-out. You will definitely break some sweats here in Vietnam. The weather will always cooperate to make that happen.

Trust again

People with bad experiences go through various phases in recovery.

Some need a lifetime. Others could trust again in no time.

All depends how the mind plays tricks. If pain recedes deep into long-term memory, then it takes longer to process pain.

Short or long-term memory, bad experiences stay. They surface on unsuspected occasion (Murphy’s Law).

Mine is about to happen again. The post-traumatic disorder. The pain of separation, of loss and of reunion.

It has been a long time . Long enough to look at it with academic detached eyes. Culture shock, reverse culture shock and personal acceptance.

No one can undo his or her past. No one can predict his/her future.

Only the moment. Cherish it. The usual. That predictable cup of coffee. A familiar face in the crowd. One simple joy of a child’s smile. Trust again.

Music often evokes those feelings e.g. a broken relationship, a lost connection.

Pain of an unraveled relationship.

People hurting people. Policies that destroy instead of building up.

Mistakes committed and opportunities lost.

We fear not new things. We fear that new things will evoke or add to bad memories.

We project the past unto the unknown. We no longer want to take risks.

To trust again.

Could that place, this person do me any good? Or just harm?

Leave me alone and let me retire to familiar pain.

Institutions often fall into this trap as well. Back to basics. Back to safe practices. Operating on marginal cost etc….Yet as counter-intuitive as it may seem, to survive, institution and individual need to take risks (The Innovator’s Dilemma).  Life is like riding the bicycle, so you need to keep moving ahead, says Einstein.

So I charge ahead. Trust again. And say a prayer. This morning. This moment.

This very day. That’s the only moment in time I am granted to grow and learn. And to trust again.

Unlikely place

Ugliness and evil exist in unlikely places.

So are beauty and goodness. A vulnerable butterfly dancing in rush-hour traffic, an innocent child on the way home from periodic check-ups.

Life offers us not an a-la-cart menu, but a buffet.

Fill up not with french fries and jello.

Yet at the same time, eat not in full the dry roast beef.

Instead, try to sprinkle some ground beacons and top everything with raisins and sunflower seeds.

Who knows.

The beauty is in the combo.

Your combined choices make up life tapestry.

Mine has certainly been an interesting one: like a bouncing billiard ball, I went from boy-to-man, from being a Vietnamese college freshman, to an US graduate, then back to living and working in Vietnam.

I have built and burned bridges, and I have seen both beauty and beast.

Ugliness and evil co-exist with beauty and goodness.

Life buffet.

Choose wisely.

And make your combination a great one, uniquely yours.

Life is so boring with a bunch of automatons, all cut from the same cloth.

Campbell soup cans.

15-minutes of fame.

Go for it. Live a little and slow to die.

Assert, charge and fire (then aim).

While at it, don’t forget to notice the dancing butterfly in traffic, free of worry and free of self-sabotage. If  human, you and I, cannot live as free as those lower-species, then why bother at all. I learn this in the most unlikely place: while crossing Saigon traffic. Call me lunatic, call me poetic and romantic. Whatever you can label me with, just try it out for yourself: start flapping your wings. P.S. a friend mentioned that while jumping to their deaths, some 9/11 jumpers tried to fight gravity even for a few last seconds. This graphic scene wells up tears in me as I am sure it will in yours. I believe I can fly.

Illusions

Sinatra was famous for his signature song: My Way.

We carry the illusion of control, of doing it our way.

Is it really so?

Do have a choice about our appearance?

Our height, our hair?

Personalities and purse strings.

If only could we nailed down the bad guy, then things would be OK. Will it?

People who have been hurt will turn around to victimize others.

Hence, play into the victimizing cycle.

How to break the chain? How to wake up from the illusion of “I am better than you”.

The other night, I woke up to the sound of music (not Beatles).

Turned out it was someone’s funeral. I deducted right away that if I could still hear the music, then I would still be alive.

The logic freed me while half-sleep, half-awake.

We are one-breath away from eternity.

Will the trumpet sound for me, for you, for us?

While we entertain the illusion of grandeur, even when death is in no special hurry.

Dream on. And forget not to say “I love you baby”. It works every time.

It plays right into illusion’s hand. That love lasts beyond death. That it sustains us in spite of the lack of money. Dream on.

Tears in the here and now

I am not Italian.

Yet I broke out in tears yesterday, at least three times.

A medical check revealed that I had a minor stroke five years ago, which means I have lived on life extension without knowing it.

Had I known this sooner, would I have lived my life differently?

Or moving forward, what corrections must I make.

I forwarded medical facts about stroke to friends.

I called up close friends and families to tell them I loved them dearly.

I hated myself for letting distraction become attraction, and 80 become 20 (80/20 rule).

Clapton nailed his emotion in “Tears in heaven” after his child’s accident.

Tears wash away regrets and cleanse our hearts. One could fake a laugh, not a tear.

Not men.

Not non-Italian men.

If I had died five years ago, I would have regret not meeting new people, attending live music and seeing new places (good, bad and ugly).

I would be a lost soul, floating near Earth‘s surface to “crash” the gates of aristocrat’s parties, rock concerts and launch parties (movies and books).

I would nest near my daughters’ beds, so as not to wake them.

I would cry, shed ghostly tears when boy friends broke my daughters’ hearts.

And I would laugh at friends’ jokes without consuming the beer.

I would still submit requests for my favorite 70’s songs and wish that generation never disappear.

My spirit will continue to look for a heart of gold, still do it my way, and clip a flower on a girl’s hair in San Francisco.

Yes, there have been tears to pepper laughter. After all, it’s part of the script. Life script . Of growing up, growing old and growing wise.

Best part of living in spirit and not in body is that you get to travel for free. In weightlessness, we are free to carry one another’s burden. He ain’t heavy, he is my brother.